


Sun and the Rain

by deusculpa



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band), Magna Carta Cartel (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Backstory, Developing Friendships, Drama & Romance, Drunken Kissing, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Porn With Plot, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Shameless Smut, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23482231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deusculpa/pseuds/deusculpa
Summary: A budding photographer is offered an opportunity to assist MCC across the pond on a mini tour. Friendships are made, romance ensues.
Relationships: Martin Persner/Original Female Character(s), Tobias Forge/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 65
Kudos: 27





	1. Who Doesn't Love ABBA?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. This will be my first fic on AO3. I mostly stuck to tumblr, but figured I'd expand my horizons as I am an avid reader on this site. I love Ghost, and lots that surround Ghost. 
> 
> Follow me on twitter for updates, comments + questions. I will be very active on there throughout my AO3 journey, and would love to connect with my readers. Let’s talk!
> 
> Twitter.com/deusculpa3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel spends her first night in Sweden, feeling welcomed. 

I had never been to Stockholm before, but I could already tell I was gonna love it. I worked as a photographer in the music industry, and it was truly a dream job. I got to meet many amazing musicians and artists, lots of whom I admired growing up, build friendships and my portfolio as well as travel the world. I couldn't ask for more. About a month ago I received a call from a man I worked with in the past, asking if I would accompany his band upon a short two week long tour of Europe. I met Niels almost two years ago now, when I embarked on a summer long tour with In Flames. We hadn't exactly been close, but we did develop a friendship over our love of artistic production, so we exchanged numbers and promised to do some work together in the future. He was kind, we got along well and being as I had never traveled to Sweden before it was an offer I couldn't refuse. I never heard of Magna Carta Cartel, other than the times Niels himself had spoken about his band mates, so after the phone call I gave them a listen and they sounded pretty good. I did remember that Niels mentioned one of the members used to be in Ghost. 

I had very recently worked with Tobias & Co and they were a pleasure. We all became fast friends and I was even asked to accompany them on their next full length tour. I still kept in contact with most of them, Tobias the most through text and phone calls, but they had grown few and far between as the months passed. The band had just wrapped up a Pale Tour Named Death. It was a wild show, our beloved Papa Nihil had "passed" and our dearest Cardinal had finally ascended into Papacy.

_Our new Papa walked off the stage, crew cheering. The end of the Prequelle era._

_I got backstage quick enough, camera still in hand. I made my way to Tobias' dressing room to congratulate him on everything going smoothly. The door was open, and he was in the middle of taking off his new mitre._

_"You've fucking done it, man!" I congratulated him. His eyes crinkled and I could just picture the big grin under his mask._

_"Ah, yes we have Guleh, and it feels so good to finally have my facepaint." He spoke still in full character, winking at me as he grabbed my hand and kissed it. I laughed, shaking my head._

_"Well, I got some great shots of you, Papa." I smirked._

_"Good, good." He chided. We talked for a few more moments before I left him to change into his normal clothing._

_Walking to the main lounge backstage, the rest of the band members had their masks off, still with remnants of black makeup smudged around their eyes. They were mostly in their normal clothes now. I was greeted as I sat down and opened my laptop to connect my camera._

_Chris and Per each took a spot beside me, eager to see the beauty I'd captured in that nights ritual. The rest of the band gathered around. We were only a few photos in when Tobias had finally joined us, still all in black. I smiled._

_"These are some fucken' wicked shots, mate!" Chris spoke to Tobias, his thick English accent resonating in the air. T grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and scooted himself between Per and I, earning a "hey!" from the fire Ghoul._

_"Lemme see, lemme see!" We spent the next 45 minutes looking through the photos, all in awe of my skill. And they weren't eve edited yet._

_"I don't even know how its possible, there's like, no bad photos you can take, is there?" Tobias spoke, looking me in the eyes. I shrugged, looking down. I guess I was not the best at taking compliments._

_"I really do try my best."_

_After all was said and done, the band dispersed, most of them going back to their hotel. Chris' girlfriend had flown out for the ritual, and he had plans to take her out for a nice dinner in Mexico._

_Not long after, it was only Tobias and I left. I finally shut my laptop and started gathering my belongings. I wasn't exactly tired so I figured I was gonna head to the hotel and order some food. I was pretty hungry._

_"Retiring for the night?" Tobias questioned, putting on his infamous patch-filled leather jacket._

_"Yeah. Starving though, so I'll probably order some food to my room." I smiled at him, slinging my bag over my shoulder. He nodded, and we both walked toward the door. He opens it for me, motioning for me to walk first. He was a gentleman._

_Walking down the well lit hallways of the stadium, there were no more fans, only security to assure we got out safely. It was quiet, until he broke the amicable silence._

_"I keep hearing about this pub down the street from our hotel. They apparently have great wings. Wanna grab a bite with me?" I pondered for a moment. I wasn't tired after all, and I might as well enjoy the time I have with Tobias. The band was going on a year long break, so who knows when the next time I was going to see him was. Over the past few months, he had grown to become a very good friend. I nodded._

_"Sure! Let me just drop off my bag first? I'd rather not go to a bar in Mexico with expensive gear." I laughed. He nodded in agreement._

_"Good call."_

_He was right, the wings were awesome and the beer was great. We ended up being there till the wee hours of the morning, and both had way too much to drink. It was nearing 3 am and we had finally decided to make our way back to the hotel, as the place would be closing soon. Stumbling, his arm around my shoulder and mine around his waist in order to steady ourselves. We were both laughing at some horror story from his high school ages._

_"I-I can't believe you fucking did that! I mean what were you thinking?! Who the fuck in their right-" I had to stop mid sentence. My stomach was hurting, and I was almost in tears from laughing so much._

_"Hey what was I thinking? I was thinking about the 20 bucks I'd be getting!" We both stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to catch our breath. Once we calmed down, and I wiped a few tears, we had reached the hotel. He held the door open for me again while I stumbled in, his arm still setting lightly atop my lower back. I'd have probably fallen over if it wasn't there to steady me, and I think he would have too. Not my proudest moment, I guess. I'm surprised he was still even standing. We made our way to the elevator and stepped inside, I attempted to press the number for our floor when Tobias huffed._

_"We're on floor 8 not 6, dear."_

_I squinted at him, our eyes both glazed over. "Hah, woops." We both started to giggle._

_"You're silly." He smiled at me._

_We stood in silence, the motions of the elevator making me feel dizzy._

_"I want you on the next tour with us. You're an amazing photographer, we all really like you and lets face it, you're a hoot." He shrugged his shoulders at that last comment, smiling._

_"It would be an honor, T. You guys are exciting, never a dull moment on stage and off." He laughed and agreed._

_He walked me to my room, his was a little further down the hall._

_"Well that was fun." I spoke aloud, retrieving my key card from my pocket, but my drunk ass struggled to swipe it correctly. Tobias chuckled, taking the key card from my hands attempting for himself. He struggled for a moment, which lead to another string of giggles from me, but eventually got it unlocked._

_"Thank you for coming out with me, agreed." He slurred, eyes glazed and a small smile played at his lips._

_"I'll see you in the morning, T." He nodded, making sure I was okay and bid me a farewell, retreating to his own quarters._

I smiled at the memory. I was proud to have been a photographer they chose for the final leg of that tour, and that show. It was only 3 months ago, and I was already getting more and more recognition. The look on my face when I got a call from Pearl Jam's front man Eddie Vedder was probably priceless, and I had plans later in the year to work for them. That was going to be a dream come true.

By the time I got to my hotel and settled in it was nearing 7pm. It had been a long flight and I was pretty tired. The first show was tomorrow night, at a place called Nalen Stala or something along those lines. So I planned on grabbing some food, maybe a drink at the pub I spotted around the corner to pass some time. Yeah, that was my normal thing for me to do. It familiarized me with the feel of a new city I guess.

I decided to not really bother changing my attire, I didn't need to wear anything special. I sported a pair of black high waist jeans, with a long sleeve dark turquoise fitted bodysuit. I scrambled through my bag to find my hairbrush and brushed quickly through my long orange locks. I wasn't naturally a ginger, but the color suited me so well that most people thought I was. I grabbed my dark jean jacket and headed out the door.

Walking out of the hotel, it was a bit chilly as the sun set. It didn't take long to reach the pub. The place was nice, there was enough people but not too many and I was thankful for that. I knew I'd be surrounded by lots of people tomorrow so this was nice. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying, I didn't speak a word of Swedish, and hoped I could wing it enough to get myself by. I made my way to the bar and sat down, waiting patiently as the bar man was dealing with another customer. I prayed that the guy spoke English. He acknowledged me, and pointed his index finger to the ceiling, stating he'd just be a moment. I nodded and smiled his way. I wasn't in a rush.

Once he was free I ordered myself a jack and coke, and an appetizer. He did speak English thankfully. It didn't take long for my food, and I watched the place fill up a little bit more, but still, nothing crazy. There was a small television in the top corner of the bar that was casting some sort of news station in Swedish. I was scrolling through my Instagram and enjoying my second drink when I felt a hand rest on my back. Startled, I look up and come face to face with none other than Niels himself.

"Well well well, fancy meeting you here! I thought I recognized those fiery locks of yours." He grinned, his thick Swedish accent flowing. He still looked the same. Lanky, wore his signature hat and glasses, rocked his facial hair and was wearing a dark knit sweater with dark jeans. He looked good.

"Hah! Hey man, good to see you! I didn't think you'd be in Stockholm until tomorrow." I couldn't remember exactly where he said he lived, it started with an N, maybe Nor- something, I just knew it wasn't Stockholm. We hugged, and he was quick to take a seat next to me.

"It seemed a bit better for us to come out a day early, less driving tomorrow and more time for rehearsals. Won't have to get up so early either."  
I nodded my head in understanding. He spoke again. "You look good, how have you been? How was your flight? When did you land?" He ordered himself a beer and turned back to me.

"I've been good, I've had the last week off which has been nice. It's been a while. Flight was long, I landed about 3-ish hours ago! I haven't really gone anywhere but man, Stockholm seems like the place to be!" I spoke with enthusiasm as I remembered him being a proud Swede. He smiled.

"Good! Glad you're liking it so far. We're all pretty excited for tomorrow, kicking off the first show here then we head to Gothenburg."

"Yes, whats the venue called again? Nalen...?" My face turning slightly pink. He smiled.

"Nalen Stora Salen. Its a pretty nice theater style event place. Don't worry about it, I don't remember you being able to speak Swedish anyway." He laughed.

We continued to catch up, I finished my food and and soon was on my third drink. It was getting dark out.

"Are you here alone, Niels?" I looked around wondering, I hadn't seen him come in at all so I wasn't sure if he had come alone. He looked down at this watch before his eyes met mine again.

"Well the guys are supposed to be here soon, I showed up early cause I got to town and settled in the hotel a little earlier than the rest of them." He explained, ordering himself another beer.

"I listened to Magna after our phone call. I liked what I heard, super vibey, and unique. Can't wait to see what you all bring to the stage." I complimented him. He grinned and thanked me.

Both of our backs were turned away from the entrance, and he did not hear his band mates arrive. With a slap on his back so hard he almost chocked on his beer, a man appeared on his other side. They greeted each other in Swedish, and I smiled to myself. They seemed like good friends, and I assumed this was his band mates.  
Two other guys appeared and one of them, who looked to me like the youngest, smiled and held out his hand.

"Hej, jag är Arvid. Är du en vän till Niels?*" I shook his hand anyway but had absolutely no idea what was just said.

"Uh-"I looked to Niels, who had already been looking back my way, probably hearing the guy attempting to introduce himself to me. Before I could make an idiot out of myself, he spoke up for me.

"This! Boys-"he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "is Angel! Our photographer I was telling you about. English only." He looked my way and I nodded my head vigorously.

The young one smiled again. He was extremely handsome, he looked more like a Vogue model than a drummer.

"Ah, sorry! I did not know. My name is Arvid." He introduced himself again, his English wasn't the strongest and his accent was heavy. I returned his smile as Niels continued the introductions.

"This is Pär, and Martin." They both smiled and waved. Par was thin and tall, with some tattoos dark hair and a little bit of facial hair. Martin was tall and thick, had a scar on his upper lip with light ash brown hair and a little bit of stubble. He was in a black shirt and dark brown leather jacket. He looked the most intimidating out of them all, but I wasn't quick to judge. They sure were a group of handsome men. I returned their smiles and waves.

Arvid was the first to speak again. "Niels was showing us your work, you are very good at what you do!" He complimented, taking a seat on my other side.

"Thank you, I'm happy to be able to work with you all, I've heard so many good things." Thank you's were given and they all started to order their own drinks.

"Is this your first time visiting Sweden?" I turned to look at who asked the question and was met with a pair of deep blue eyes. Martin. I smiled and nodded. I noticed he had lost his jacket, and was sporting a black t-shirt, making his tattoos visible. I observed them for a quick second, noticing the alchemy symbols I immediately placed him as the ex-Ghost guitarist.

"It is. I've always wanted to visit, so when Niels called me up, well I just couldn't refuse."

"She's absolutely amazing at what she does, and she's chill as fuck. Figured you'd all get on!" Niels nudged my shoulder. I shrugged in modesty, finishing off my drink. Not wanting to interrupt boy time, I stated that I was gonna head back to my hotel.

"Ah, come on! One more drink!" Niels chided, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Yeah, on us!" Arvid spoke, already ordering another jack for me. Well, I guess I was stuck for one more drink. I didn't mind, though. More time to get to know the guys I'd be working with for the next two weeks. I laughed and sat back down.

"Alright, alright."

"Lets move to a table, I think it'll be more comfortable." Pär spoke, looking around to spot an empty table for the five of us.

Once we got our drinks we maneuvered our way over to a table. He was right. We could actually all look at each other now.

"So what part of America are you from, Angel?" Pär asked, seated diagonally across from me. I shook my head.

"I'm not from America actually." I noticed Niels giving me a side look, and I remembered that we hadn't exactly spoken of where I was from. "I'm Canadian, I grew up in a small city in eastern Ontario." I smiled.

"Huh! I guess I had just always assumed you were American. I believe you'll be the first Canadian we work with then!" Niels chided, lifting his drink to his lips.

We all made good conversation, getting to know each other. I asked questions about the music and what was to come of Magna, while they asked more about my photography background and some of the artists I had worked with in the past. I wasn't exactly sure how Ghost ended for Martin, so I didn't mention that they were one of the last bands I was hired to shoot. One more drink turned into two more, and before I got too drunk I really needed to call it quits. I had been on my 5th by now. I knew I could handle my liquor pretty well, and I was proud of that, but one more and I'd be very tipsy.

"Okay, for real now guys. I gotta head out. That fourteen hour flight is catching up to me." They all nodded in understanding.

"You remember the way back to your hotel, yeah? Where are you staying?" Niels quipped, making sure I would get there safely. I nodded.

"Yeah, its the one right around the corner. I can't pronounce the name for the life of me, but its a huge-ass green building." I said sheepishly. He thought for a moment then nodded his head.

"Would you like one of us to walk you? It's dark out, and you're not familiar with the area.." Arvid spoke, finishing off the last sip of his beer. I quickly shook my head, not wanting to inconvenience any of them.

"Oh, no no its okay. I'll be fine. You guys enjoy yourselves." I smiled, grabbing my purse and slinging it over my shoulder.

The sound of a chair scraping the floor and everyone turned to look to Martin, who had stood from his chair.

"I think I'm gonna get going too. I was up early this morning getting some last minute things ready, so I'm pretty tired. I can walk with you, I'm headed that direction anyway. Our hotel is just a few blocks over." They all nodded and Niels spoke up.

"Alright, thanks mate! We'll see you guys both tomorrow then!" Niels patted his friend on the back, they exchanged a few more words in Swedish and Martin bid his farewell to his friends. Niels turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"It was nice catching up, get some rest." I nodded and smiled.

"Have a good night guys!" I waved goodbye and there was a chorus of goodbyes sent my way.

Martin held the door open for me, I smiled and thanked him. After a few moments of silence he spoke up.

"So what are your plans for tomorrow? Gonna do some exploring before the show?" He put his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. I observed the man out of the corner of my eye. Looking him up and down, I was absolutely certain this was Omega. He thankfully didn't notice my wandering eyes.

"Yeah, that was the plan. Any sightseeing suggestions you got for me?" I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket to retrieve a cigarette.

"Depends what you like, " he started, I guess noticing that I had lit a smoke made him feel more at ease, as he quickly fished one out of his pocket as well. He continued, "I personally love visiting Djurgården when I am in Stockholm. Beautiful gardens, lots of nice cafes and snack bars, and the A-" he stopped speaking suddenly, looking down as his face turned a light shade of pink. I rose a brow.

"And...?" I chuckled, wondering why he had stopped talking.

"Well, uh - Hah. One of my favorite museums is in the area." He spoke sheepishly.

"Oh? And which museum would that be?" I probed. It couldn't be that bad, it was just a museum, after all.

"Its uh-the Abba museum..." I grinned. Good ol' Abba.

"Ah, big Abba fan too?" I grinned. He let out a breath he had been holding. I had to stop myself from giggling. I did really love Abba, while they were not my all time favourite, definitely my top 10. I mean come on, who doesn't fucking love Abba?!

"Are you?" He grinned and I smiled, nodding.

"Well, tell you what. I'll save that ticket for another time, and if you don't grow tired of me, maybe we could go together at some point." Before I knew it, the words had slipped from my mouth. Why was I being so bold? I wasn't normally like this. I wasn't trying to hit on him, I mean he was handsome and all, but for all I know he could have a girlfriend. Or boyfriend for that matter. I wasn't one to judge or pry. Taking a drag of his cigarette, he exhaled after a few moments and smiled.

"Deal." He winked.

Before I knew it, we had made it to the front of the hotel. We both finished our cigarettes and turned to face one another. Looking up at him, I smiled.  
"Thanks for the company. And the sightseeing suggestion. I'm excited to see more of Stockholm." He returned my smile, nodding. "I'll see you tomorrow evening, Martin. It was nice meeting you!"

"You too, Angel." And with that, we parted ways. I did not see him turn his head around slightly to watch me make my way into the hotel, his turn to let his wandering eyes travel without my knowledge. Smiling to himself, he lit another smoke for the rest of his walk.


	2. Shy Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel does her thing, the guys are impressed. They head out for drinks, and Martin somehow ends up in Angel's room in the late hours of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments on the last chapter. I have been reading a lot on this site for the past few years, but am still getting to know how to exactly use it. Bear with me. 
> 
> Still just setting the base for the story. Enjoy!

The next day flew by for me. I did end up visiting Djurgården, he wasn't wrong about the beautiful scenery that surrounded the area. And I drank one of the best cups of coffee's I've had in a long time. I brought my camera with me and captured lots of photos, from the gorgeous historic architecture to colorful rays of nature. A good way to spend the afternoon before an evening of work. Around 4 I decided to make my way back to my room to get my things ready, knowing I needed to be at the venue by 6. Packing my stuff, I pulled my long hair back into a ponytail and fixed my bangs, brushing them forward. They were getting a little long for my taste, and I knew I'd have to give them a trim within the next couple of days. I changed my shirt, wanting to wear something a little nicer than what I had on, as the guys had said it was a fancy enough venue. I didn't want to look under dressed, nor overdressed so I settled for keeping my black high waist skinny jeans and a dark maroon low-back halter top. I put a black cardigan over my shoulders in case I got cold. Slipping on my black shoes and jean jacket I was out the door.

It didn't end up being too far from my hotel, unbeknownst to me, and I had already made the decision to walk home after the show instead of taking a Taxi. Might as well enjoy the Swedish air as much as i could while I was here. 

Sliding out from the taxi I immediately noticed Martin standing by the entrance smoking, a couple people surrounding him. I assumed they were fans. We made eye contact, and he smiled slightly and waved. I returned the gesture, heading inside. Damn, Niels wasn't wrong when he said 'nice' theater. The place was beautiful, adorned with high ceilings, tall rounded archways, two large chandeliers creating a pathway split in the middle. It seemed a very, very fancy place. I had never worked in a place like this one before, I was used to bigger stadiums or straight up dive bars of underground bands. Those were always fun. This definitely was not what the In Flames tour was like, either. I could faintly see him and Pär setting some things up on stage. I stood there, still close to the entrance facing the stage and taking in my surroundings for a few moments when I was pulled from my thoughts.

"What do you think?" Startled I turned quickly to come face to face with Martin. He could tell he caught me off guard, raising his hands a little with an apologetic look on his face. Placing a hand on my chest I let out a short, breathy laugh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." His accent was nice.

"Oh no, its okay! Just caught me a little off guard is all." I brushed it off, and continued. "This place is incredible, I've never had the pleasure to do a shoot somewhere like this." Breaking eye contact, I let my eyes wander again to the beautiful decor that surrounded us. He stayed silent, head nodding slightly in agreement but is eyes never left mine. I cleared my throat, and our eyes met again. 

"Here, let me help you with that. We'll head backstage, that way you'll know your way around before the place gets busy." I almost forgot about the heavy bags of camera equipment I had, and before I knew it he was taking the bag off my shoulder and slung it gently onto his own. I smiled.

"Thank you." 

We walked side by side when he asked about what I had done today, and if I ended up visiting Djurgården.

"Yes, you were absolutely right. The gardens were amazing! And holy shit was the fancy coffee drink I ordered was delicious. I wish I could remember the place but its all gibberish to me right now. I barely knew what I was even ordering at the time, but it was good!" I laughed and so did he. 

"By the time the tour is over I'm sure you'll have picked up some Swedish. At least enough to be able to order some drinks on your own, and actually know what they are." He joked.

We made it backstage, and it was still just as beautiful as it was out there. The couches looked cozy but also fancy, tables were scattered around with foods and drinks. The walls were adorned with dark gold and maroon colors. Martin set my things down gently on a table that didn't have anything on it, and I thanked him quietly. Arvid was quick to jump from his spot on the couch once he spotted us, sending me a wave before pointing a thumb at a table of drinks.

"Would you like a drink, love?" 

"Sure, surprise me! There's not much I don't like." I smiled to him.

"Hey Angel, hows it going? Glad you're here!" Niels came through a curtain, and I assumed the stage was on the other side. 

"Hey! I"m good, excited to be here." Arvid quickly returned with a cold glass of dark liquid. I thanked him, after the first sip I immediately knew it was rye and coke. I smiled.

"Come on, I'll show you where you'll be for most of the night." Niels tugged on my arm and led me back the way he came through the curtain. He showed me the places I would be able to shoot from, and I was already getting amped for their performance. I had seen Niels play with In Flames but this band was nothing like those guys. He also seemed to be much more involved with the production of Magna. I could tell he was excited too, practically feeling the giddiness radiating off of him. 

The show went smoothly, I caught lots and lots of cool shots and had a lot of fun. They opened up with This Time, played a new song for the first time ever, and ended with a song I wasn't quite familiar with. Arvid was clearly enjoying himself, and I got a couple of photos of him giving goofy smiles my way. Pär was definitely in his element, looking pretty focused the whole time he was on stage, but nonetheless enjoying himself. Niels was, well, Niels. Looking super enthusiastic and like he was having the time of his life. Martin was my favorite capture, though. He still liked to stomp every once in a while. I got some shots of his head held high to the sky, eyes closed, to him looking upon the crowd with intense eyes. He really seemed to be thankful for all of this. Very humble. After the show was over the guys spent some time interacting with the fans. I was sat backstage comfortably on the couch with another drink on the go scrolling through the photos I had taken. They ended up being some of the best shots I had ever taken (at least in my opinion) and I was excited for them to see. Niels was the first to escape the crowd and head backstage, immediately his eyes darted to me and I smiled up at him. 

"You guys played great! It seemed to be a wonderful start to the tour." I complimented, setting my laptop aside and putting my drink down. I rose from my spot and he thanked me with a sweaty hug, but I've had it worse before. Guess I was used to it.

"Glad you enjoyed it! Sorry its taking so long, we all, especially Martin, like to meet the people who make it out to see us." I smiled in understanding.

"Its not a problem at all. Gives me some time to sort through my photos anyway."

"Can I see some?" I nodded and led him over to the couch, returning to the spot I was occupying while he took a seat next to me, placing his arm on the couch behind my head so he could get a better look. For the next half hour, we edited a few of shots together and they were looking incredible. He was loving them, and it made me feel good, like I was doing my job right. I think we were both so in the zone that we didn't hear the rest of the guys piling in. It wasn't until I heard a low "holy shit" in my right ear that I noticed Martin standing behind us. Ironically, it was a photo of him we were editing.

"That's an amazing shot, I look bad ass." He leaned down further to get a better look. I was suddenly well aware of how close he was to us.

"She's making us all look bad ass." Niels chimed and I giggled. After we were done with the photos for the evening I helped them pack their things into the van. 

"We're heading out for some drinks, will you come?" Arvid stepped out of the van before walking over to me. I nodded smiling, and he took my bags placing them inside the van.

We all walked down the street to the pub, smiling and talking about how good the first show went. I was happy for them, and looked forward to the coming shows. We didn't plan on being out too late, as tomorrow we'd need to be up early enough to get to Gothenburg. It was about a 5 hour drive that I planned spending editing the rest of the photos from the night before. I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt an arm place around my shoulders.

"You good, Angel?" Arvid spoke, as he opened the door to the pub for us all, motioning for me to take the lead. Nodding my head, I gave a small smile.

"Yeah sorry. I get side tracked with my own thoughts sometimes." They all laughed.

We had all been drinking and talking for about an hour when Martin's phone started to ring. Looking at it, he grimaced, and slipped it back in his pocket. Nobody said anything and it seemed a bit odd, but it really wasn't any of my business. 

As the time went on, by midnight I was left with Martin and Niels. Even though I had spent a summer working with Niels we didn't have too much time to really get to know each other. It was nice, we spoke of the Flames tour, reminiscing of how good that summer was for us. They were one of the first big bands I had the pleasure of working for. Martin piped up some questions for us every now and then, but mostly just listened to the two of us, silently getting to know me a little more as well. I had grown to know Martin fairly well too, though I found it strange that he still had not mentioned Ghost. More and more it lead me to think that it did not end on a good note for him. It made me curious, Tobias was a great guy and I couldn't picture him doing Martin wrong, but sitting here with Martin I could not imagine him doing T any wrong either. He seemed like a very good friend to have. Maybe I'd work up the courage to ask eventually, but now definitely didn't seem like the time. Yawning, I took a sip of my water when Niels spoke up.

"Getting late guys, I'm tired as hell." We both nodded, Niels bid his farewell and then there were two. We made some idle chit chat, more comfortable with each other now and I was enjoying myself. But I knew we should probably both be retreating for the night. Looking up, I noticed Martin staring at me, a small smile playing at his lips. It dawned on me that he must have said something to me. 

"Sorry," I shook my head, laughing lightly "what did you say?" 

"Well, I think that answers my question enough but," he took the final sip of his drink, polishing it off. "I asked if you were getting tired." 

"Yes, I am. I think its my time now." I joked. He nodded and we stood together putting our jackets on. He once again opened the door for me. What was it with these men? Such gentlemen. I could get used to this.

We walked in a comfortable silence, both smoking a cigarette. It was a little while later that I tried to make some conversation.

"So where's your guys' hotel anyway?" I took a drag of my smoke, taking in my surroundings. The buildings were all so colorful. 

"Ah, we already passed it. We're just staying at the Birger Jarl. Its a decent place, but I wish we'd have thought of your hotel first. I hear its beautiful in there. Arvid stayed there once." Its true, it was an old 18th century style hotel, with extravagant gardens and my room had a gorgeous terrace.

"Wait, we passed your hotel? Why are you still walking then?" I looked over at him, brow raised.

"Well I wouldn't let you walk by yourself in a foreign city at such late hours, would I? What kind of man would I be..." I giggled at his playful tone, taking the last puff of my smoke before tossing it to the road. Once we reached my destination, he observed the building silently. And just like last night, without thinking, the words left my mouth.

"Wanna see my room?" I could kick myself. His head darted around and his eyes met mine.

"I- uh, I mean you seem to like the architecture of course. I have a nice terrace and uhm, stuff. I'm not-"

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to see the inside of the place." He smiled softly. God dammit whats wrong with me.

I led him inside and we made our way to my room. He wasn't in a rush clearly, taking slow strides while he admired the walls of the old building. The carpets were a deep red, and lots of paintings were hung on the wall with golden lamps hanging from above. Once we reached my room I led him inside, thankful I didn't have any underwear or bras hanging around. I didn't expect anyone to be coming back to my room, especially not any of the guys, but I thought the room looked too nice to even leave a mess. The bed was adjacent to the french doors that led out to the terrace. There was a love seat located diagonally across from the bed and a TV on the other side. The bathroom was around the corner from the love seat, and had a massive old fashion tub. I cursed myself for not using it the night before.

While he was looking around the room, I took the time to remove my shoes, jacket and cardigan, I don't know why but I was hot. I didn't notice Martin look me up and down more than once while my back was turned to him. I guess I forgot how exposed my back was, and the outfit I was wearing really accented all my curves.

"So what do you think?" I turned around and he looked away quickly, eyes darting to a painting hung on the wall. 

"Uh it's nice!" I nodded in agreement, smiling. 

"I'm not normally this organized, but the room is just too nice to leave my shit everywhere." I giggled and he laughed along. We spent a few quiet moments before he took a seat on the Victorian style sofa.

"So uhm, where are we headed tomorrow? Another fancy theater?" I questioned, attempting to break the silence. He thought for a moment before responding. 

"Well, as nice as a place called Sticky Fingers is gonna get." He chuckled. My eyes widened and I laughed, putting my face in my hand. 

"Sticky Fingers? Who the fuck would name a fucking business that." He laughed along.

"There's a pretty sweet disco ball, though" I shook my head, grinning. We talked for another long while, and next thing I knew it was almost two in the morning. I cringed at the thought of having to wake up tomorrow. Well, today I guess I should say. We had been talking a little about his family when I decided to change the subject.

"What time should I be ready to head out tomorrow?" I questioned. Niels and I discussed the way things would work when he first asked me to accompany them. He sent me which hotels they booked to make things easier, and the only reason I booked a different one this time around was because there was no more rooms available for Birger Jarl. I ended up being lucky enough though that the rest of the tour we'd all be in the same hotel. 

"Well we planned on leaving Stockholm by eight, would get us to Gothenburg by one. So be ready by then?" I nodded my head.

"I should get back to my hotel. I don't want to keep you any longer." We both stood, I nodded yawning and stretching my arms. He chuckled and made his way to the door.

"Thanks for letting me have a look at the place. I'll definitely be staying here next time I see myself in Stockholm. Its much nicer than my room." He smiled to me, I walked over to him to see him out.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning. Well, later I suppose." He thought and I giggled.

"Goodnight Martin, be safe. Although I don't think anyone would mess with you, you're quite intimidating." I joked.

"No, am I? I'm a shy guy!" He gasped, smiling and putting a hand on his heart. "Goodnight." I watched him walk away for a few seconds before softly shutting my door and sighing.


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel has enjoys a tea and bath, but has a bad end to her day when a nightmare startles her awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, two chapters in one day? I'm in quarantine with nothing better to do. Enjoy.

Seven AM came way too quick. Exhausted, I brewed a shitty cup of hotel coffee and hopped in the shower to wake myself up a bit. I left my hair to dry on its own and quickly threw on a pair of black leggings and a dark green knit sweater. I knew I was gonna be sitting on a tiny bus for the next 5 hours, so I opted for comfy clothes. By the time 7:30 rolled around I had made my way outside the hotel to see them just pulling up. Perfect timing. Niels stepped out of the van, sliding the back door open.

"Morning sunshine! Hop in!" He grinned. The rest of the guys greeted me as I got inside, taking a seat next to Arvid. Pär sat by the other window, and Niels in the front while Martin was behind the wheel. "Look at that, men who are actually on time!" I joked, receiving a chorus of sarcastic laughs from the guys. Yawning, I was exhausted. I pulled my laptop out to get ready to start editing some more photos, maybe I'd upload some to Instagram. The boys talked idly, mostly about the tour, while I chimed in every now and then. Arvid and Pär were enjoying watching me do my thing. After a while they lost interest, opting to scroll through their social medias for a bit. I didn't notice myself drifting off to sleep until I felt a hand gently shake me awake. Opening my eyes, I re-positioned myself to take in my surroundings. Still in the van, but it was turned off and neither Arvid nor Pär were in their seats anymore. Looking over, I came face to face with Martin.

"Sorry to wake you, love, but we've stopped to grab some lunch. Are you hungry? Or would you prefer to sleep some more?" He smirked. "We could bring you back some food if you'd like to continue to nap." I noticed his hand was still on my shoulder and he made no motions to move it. I debated for a moment, I knew it'd be better to get my lazy ass up and go in there, no matter how much I wanted to just go back to sleep. I noticed my laptop was no longer sitting on my lap, someone must have closed it and placed it back in its bag. Meeting his eyes once again, I made my move to get up.

"Yeah, I'll come in. Mostly to have a cup of not-so-shit coffee." I laughed. He smiled, removing his hand from my shoulder only to keep it extended to help me out of the van. Why the fuck was my face so hot? He's just being nice. Shaking my thoughts I grabbed his hand and hopped down from the bus. His other hand making its way toward my lower back, my face grew even hotter. He didn't leave it there long, removing it to shut the heavy van door. I looked inside to see everyone already seated staring out at us before quickly turning away to talk among themselves. Weird. Martin came to my side once again and we soon fell into step together and walked into the diner. It was a cozy place, and looked pretty promising. 

"And she wakes!" Niels was the first to speak, pulling out the seat beside him. I giggled and took my seat, Martin sat on the opposite end of the table to my left. I was left facing Arvid. 

"How long was I even out? What time is it?" Arvid looked down to his watch.

"Well you passed out about an hour into our drive, so a good two hours I'd say. Its almost noon." We talked and laughed over food and coffee, I didn't realize how hungry I was until we got our plates. Before long, we were back to driving. This time, Niels took the wheel. We played stupid games like eye spy on our way in, Martin having fallen asleep in the passenger seat. I smiled softly to myself, no doubt he'd be just as tired as I was. We were rolling into Gothenburg and I was admiring the beautiful scenery when we pulled up to our hotel. We were staying at the Elite Plaza, and I remembered booking for this place. It was beautiful, a different kind of beautiful than the last hotel. This one was quite modern, and even had a spa. Although I knew I might not have time for that, its nice to dream.

We all brought our suitcases to our rooms, most of us being on the same floor except for Niels, he was a floor up. Martin was just across the hall from me, Arvid and Pär being a little further down, around the corner. My room was gorgeous, and I felt kind of boujie. It had a lovely queen size bed, as well as a large dark purple velvet sofa. The flat screen TV hung on the wall directly beside a massive abstract painting. Setting my things down I made my way to the large window that took up most of the wall and spread open the sheer curtains. The view was stunning. Turning my head over to the washroom, I walked over and observed the well lit area. Equipped with a full length mirror, huge tub, and a stand up shower separate. Impressive. Walking back out to the main area I noticed a table and bar stools, the table looking like it was made from expensive marble. I was in awe.

Not having to be ready to go until 5, that left me with a little under 2 hours to myself. Since I got to nap on the way, I wasn't exactly tired but I decided to make myself comfy and read a book I started a while ago. Never finding the time to finish it, now seemed like the perfect opportunity. A while later there was a knock on my door. I hesitantly rose from my comfy spot and made my way over to the door. Opening it, I came face to face with Martin, who held a tray of two hot beverages and two mystery boxes. I smiled up at him, and I happily welcomed him inside. 

"This hotel is so high end, you can tell my brother picked it." He joked, setting the items down on the counter. I giggled, looking over curiously at what he had brought. As if he read my mind, he spoke up.

"Oh, uhm, well since its your first time visiting Sweden, I just though I would bring you something my from my favorite bakery in Gothenburg." He slid me over a small box that I assumed had a pastry in it now. Taking the hot drink out of its tray he set it down by the box. "I also got you a tea, I remember you saying you're a big tea drinker." He smiled sheepishly. My face grew warm again and I smiled and giddily took the lid off my drink. I really did enjoy a good cup of tea. Smelling it, I could definitely tell it was a chai of some sorts, I could smell the sweet and spicy aromas. Taking a small sip, I sighed in content. He watched my reaction and seemed to let out a breath he held for some time. 

"Though I didn't know what kind of tea you liked, I just kind of rolled the dice and went with a chai. I enjoy them too." I assumed after that comment that he got the same thing. Nodding, my eyes met his.

"Thank you, Martin. This is very kind of you. I definitely wasn't expecting this." You took the box and opened it to discover a perfect looking Millefeuille. You grinned.

"Ah, fuck yeah!" 

He laughed. "Good, I'm glad you like those. I was stuck between that and a double chocolate brownie, I guess I decided to go with the less basic option. I held up the line, I'm pretty sure the lady was getting pissed off." He took a sip of his own tea and smiled down at me. I never really noticed just how much taller he was than me. I was extremely short, just hitting the five foot mark, and quite petite. Its something that I've always been quite insecure with, so I try not to think about it too much. But its hard whenever this giant was standing across from you, and he was thick. But in a good way, a very good way actually. I motioned for him to have a seat on the bar stool as I took a seat across from him, trying to rid myself of the impure thoughts that were most likely about to come to mind. I felt good, like I fit in with these guys and had been friends for much longer than 2 days (excluding Niels, of course). I was flattered that Martin went out of his way to do something nice for me. Simple, but I guess it made me feel welcomed. 

He opened his own box to expose the same dessert I had. There were two plastic spoons sat on the tray and he took them, handing one over to me, and we both enjoyed your desserts in silence. After a few minutes I decided to speak up.

"I can't wait to see what this so called 'Sticky Fingers' place looks like." I shook my head, laughing lightly. I still wasn't over the name of this place.

"It's not that bad, I promise." He laughed. We finished our desserts and sipped at our tea. His expression seemed to quickly change into that of embarrassment, when he started sputtering words.

"Sorry if I interrupted anything. I can leave if you'd like, I'm not sure what you were up to before I barged in and probably overstayed my welcome." Cocking your head to the side, you frowned. 

"Oh no, I was just reading. Passing time, more than anything. I'm glad you came barging in." I winked, in a joking manner. "Seriously, thank you Martin. Its been nice, getting to you know and the rest of the guys. You're all gentlemen and I'm happy to be a part of this tour." I went to place my hand on his forearm, but fought that urge, not wanting to overstep my boundaries. His eyes locked with mine and we both said nothing for a few minutes before there was a knock at the door. Breaking eye contact, we looked to the door, and back at each other. Shrugging my shoulders as he stood and made his way over, assuming it would be one of the other guys. Opening the door revealed Niels. He rose a brow, and looked from Martin to me, then back to Martin. I found it kind of odd, but didn't question it. I guess he didn't expect Martin to answer the door.

"I was just coming to tell Angel we'd be leaving in 10." He spoke, a look on his face that I couldn't quite place. Once he looked over at me I smiled at him and waved slightly. Smiling back, I faintly heard a "Can I talk to you?" from Niels that was obviously meant to only be heard by Martin, so I acted like I heard nothing and decided to just start getting myself ready. I polished off the rest of my tea when Martin came over to grab his cup, and our empty boxes to throw them in the garbage. Niels waited patiently in the doorway.

"I guess I'll see you in 10." I beamed, he nodded returning the gesture looking my way before seeing himself out.

While I got myself ready I couldn't help but think about the odd...things I suppose, that I'd notice. I brushed my long, ginger locks to the side and quickly made a messy braid tied loosely at the end. I wondered what Niels needed to talk to Martin about that I couldn't be a part of...had I done something wrong? My mind raced, and I tried to stop thinking so negative, although it was a bad habit that I've had for most of my life. I slipped on a pair of my signature black high waist skinny jeans, paired with a white long sleeved, high colar chiffon top, tucked in. I added a belt for the look, and slipped on a pair of black shoes and headed out the door, sure to grab everything I needed for the night ahead. 

The venue was a lot different, but it was definitely better than I expected at least. Much more of a rock concert feel than an opera house, and there were no chairs to be seen. He was right, there was a fucking huge disco ball in the middle of the ceiling. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. The boys did a soundcheck and I decided to grab a couple of shots of the more relaxed times. 

Time flew by and before I knew it the show was over. It went well, they played the same setlist as the day before, which was understandable after the hiatus they had been on for the past few years. At least I'd be familiar with all of them by the time the tour was done, they were very good tunes. They had to cut the ending of their second song, Sunsettlers, due to a technical issue but they all handled it pretty well, mostly laughing it off and the show went on without any more problems. We opted not to drink tonight and just retreat back to our rooms. By the time we ended up back at the hotel it was about half past eleven and I decided to take a bath. The hotel had some sort of fancy bubbles so I added that and gently sat in the tub, finding the hot water soothing. The lights were dimmed and I could fall asleep with how relaxed I was. I lost track of time, but the water wasn't exactly cold yet when my phone started to ring. Frowning, it was pretty late and I couldn't think of who would feel the need to call me right now. Drying my hands quickly I grabbed in on time to answer it. 

"Hello?"

"Hi pumpkin, how are you? I miss you you know, and you haven't called yet." It was my dad, I cringed at the nickname he'd called me since I was a child, but laughed regardless. He would never stop calling me pet names, so what was the point of being upset over it? I remembered that Canadian time was a good five hours behind, making it only about half passed seven in the evening over there.

"Sorry dad, its just been a super busy couple of days. They've had shows every night but after tomorrow we have a day off." I explained. 

We talked for another fifteen minutes or so, catching up. We were always close, much closer than me and my mom, and I did miss him when I was gone. I know he worried a lot, so we made plans for whenever I got back home to have dinner. Promising I'd do better at keeping in touch, we said our goodbyes and ended the call. By now, my tub had gone cold and it was nearing one in the morning. 

Sighing, I felt fully relaxed and ready for bed. I put on the warm and soft hotel housecoat and slid under the covers to let sleep take over. 

I woke up, mouth dry and heart racing. I didn't have nightmares often, but when I did they really got to me. I sat up, looking around the darkened room. The TV was still on, volume low and I looked at the clock to check the time. 2:18 AM. I sighed, of fucking course this would happen when I'm halfway across the world. The familiar feeling of an anxiety attack beginning in my stomach, I quickly made the decision to get up, drink some water and go for a walk around the hotel. Maybe get some fresh air and have a smoke outside. I hated that I was going to lose sleep over this nonsense, but it beat having a full blown panic attack alone in my room. Slipping on a pair of joggers and a long sleeve shirt and my jean jacket, I grabbed my smokes and key card. Opening the door slightly, I peaked out, not fully shutting it yet. 

The hotel was quiet, as I figured it would be. At least no one would see me in this whack outfit. I stood in the doorway for a moment, debating which way to go when I heard a muffled voice coming from Martin's room, and my eyes darted to the closed door. I didn't want to be nosy, and I didn't hear a second voice so I assumed he was speaking on the phone. I frowned, he sounded anything but happy. Annoyed, and tired. Not the voice I had grown to know over the past couple of days. I wondered who he was talking to, but reminded myself again that it was none of my business. If he needed to talk to anyone, he had the guys. Stepping fully out of the doorway, it closed louder than I anticipated. I flinched when I no longer heard the muffled voice coming from within the room. My eyes widened, and I started to briskly walk around the corner to reach the elevator. 

I closed my eyes and sighed. When I got outside it wasn't very chilly surprisingly, but there was a pleasant breeze. Taking a deep breath, I lit my cigarette and stared down the beautiful historic looking street. A few more puffs and I was significantly more calm. I didn't hear the door to the hotel open, nor did I hear Martin appear beside me and light a cigarette of his own.

"You're up late. Or, early I should say." I flinched a little, and he noticed.

"Are...Are you okay? You seem a little pale." His worried eyes bore into mine and I nodded, looking down, doing my best to avoid too much eye contact, but mentally kicking myself for making it obvious that something was bothering me. I didn't really want to talk about it, or seem like a baby that had a bad dream that I let bother me so much. I was sure he saw right through me, but chose not to pry and I was thankful for that. We smoked our cigarettes in silence and I eventually relaxed by the end of it. Taking a final drag, I tossed it. Pretty embarrassed that he caught me out so late and at a bad time, I kept my head down, avoiding eye contact. 

"I'll see you in the morning, Martin." I spoke quietly, heading back inside with not a second glance back.


	4. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunches and too much to drink when the gang takes on Copenhagen.

My alarm woke me at seven, and once again I was exhausted. I really would need to fix this awful sleep schedule I had going for me these past few days. Since I took a bath last night, I didn't think it was necessary to shower so I slipped on a pair of black leggings and an over-sized turquoise jumper. I washed my face to wake myself up a little, brushed my teeth and threw my hair in a messy bun. Gathering my belongings I left to go meet the guys.

On my way down, I cringed as I thought of the events that took place a few hours ago. I felt bad, I didn't mean to be rude to Martin but I knew I was. I would have to talk to him later, in private and apologize. I hoped he wouldn't ask about anything though, it was just embarrassing for me.

I noticed none of the guys were down here yet and decided to grab a coffee and some breakfast. It was complimentary, after all. I slung my bag over my shoulder and rolled my suitcase along to the commons room. I immediately notice Martin with a coffee, phone in hand staring intently down at the screen. Looking around, none of the other guys were here so I figured now would be the best time to talk to him. I sighed, I didn't think I would have to do it now, but I guess its better to get it over with. Walking over to him, he was slightly turned the other way. Not wanting to interrupt whatever he was doing I stood by patiently, until he turned and walked straight into me, almost spilling his hot coffee all over me.

"Oh, fuck I'm so sorry!" He spoke, then realizing it was me, his eyes grew wide and he looked even more worried. I placed a hand on his arm.

"Sorry, I uh, didn't want to interrupt whatever you were doing..." he cocked a brow, eyes softening. "I um, I need to apologize for last night-well, this morning I guess. I'm sorry for being rude, I just uhm..." I stuttered nervously, removing my hand from his arm to fiddle with my fingers, not really sure what to say next. He very obviously could sense my discomfort.

"There's no need, really. Are you...Are you okay though? You did have me kind of worried, I hope I haven't done anything to upset you." My jaw could have hit the ground, but I caught it in time.

"No, no, trust me, its-nothing to do with you." I assured him. "I'm sorry for startling you, too." He shook his head.

"I guess we're even now. I'm just glad I didn't spill the coffee on you, that would've probably hurt." He smirked and I laughed. Raising the beverage, he spoke. "Would you like a cup?" I nodded, I needed it and I'm sure he assumed the same. Pouring me a cup, he handed it over and I sipped the scorching hot liquid and sighed in content. He chuckled.

"Well, good morning you two!" We both turn to see Arvid making his way over to greet us, and pour himself a cup too. The three of us stood around for another five minutes or so, when Niels and Pär walked through the doors. Quickly grabbing coffee of their own we made our way out to the van. Martin grabbed my equipment bag and Niels insisted on taking my suitcase. They were sweet.

The drive to Copenhagen wasn't as long as our drive to Gothenburg but it sure did feel like it. We didn't stop for food this time around, so I assumed it felt that way because I was sitting in the van for a steady 4 hours this time. I couldn't wait to get out and stretch my legs, and gain the feeling of my ass again.

This hotel wasn't as fancy, but it wasn't a shack either. My room was pretty basic, but cozy nonetheless. No bath this time and it made me kind of sad. Martin ended up being a floor above, Pär in the room next to me, Arvid opposite of him and Niels a floor below. I was just getting settled when I decided to take a stroll, having a good three hours before we needed to be anywhere. That coffee did the trick and I wasn't tired enough to want to nap. Deciding that my outfit was warm enough I grabbed my small envelope bag, making sure I had my key card. I slipped on a pair of shoes and was good to go.

Opening the door, I was startled to find Martin standing there as if he was just about to knock, fist in the air. He smiled sheepishly.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to take a walk with me. The other guys are all napping, Except for Niels, he's Facetiming his girlfriend." He put his fist down shoved both his hands it his pockets. I laughed.

"Well you're in luck. I was just about to go for a walk." I smiled. He had been to Copenhagen once or twice before, but he was not extremely familiar with the place. Our hotel was close to the water, so we walked along the Nyhavn harbor. I always seen photos of the place and thought they were beautiful, they did not do it justice. The buildings aligned were all sorts of colors, the sun was shining and the boats were out and about making the area a prime spot for tourists.

A couple of people recognized him and asked for photos, which I volunteered to take. He signed whatever they asked him, saying that he hoped to see them among the crowd that night. He was a pleasant person, and treated every fan so kindly. The world needed more people like him, it seemed.

I was admiring the views of the water when my stomach started to growl. I didn't realize I was hungry, and before I could say anything Martin chuckled.

"Lets grab a bite to eat, I know the perfect place." Placing his hand on your back he led the way. He didn't leave it there long, and when he took it away the spot grew cold.

He took me to a place called the Compass, and it was a cozy setting. We sat on the outside patio, ordered ourselves a beer and a good lunch. The staff was delightful, and Martin and I talked about anything and everything.

Laughing, I took one of the last sips of my beer. "And so yeah, that's when I knew that I was just destined to never be a singer." He was in a fit of laughter, at my embarrassment. Glad he was enjoying it.

"I can't see your singing being that bad, can it?" I shook my head, smile still present.

"Oh, it is." Over his shoulder, I spotted the other three boys taking a walk of their own. I waved them down.

"Fancy meeting you guys here." I joked, the three of them laughing. I didn't miss the look Niels shot Martin, and I was getting kind of annoyed. I kept getting the feeling that they knew something I didn't.

"Would you like to join us?" Martin was quick to pipe up, looking at me and back at them I smile and nodded, welcoming them. We would be a chair short, sure we could just ask for an extra seat. They all nodded. We ended up spending another little while talking and drinking more beer. The guys ordered food for themselves, I recommended my meal for Arvid and he seemed to really it.

"So whats the venue tonight guys?"

"Sweaty Feet." Martin spoke in a serious tone, and I shot him an incredulous look.

"Fuck off." Everyone started to laugh.

"Pumpehuset, pretty similar to Sticky though. Very underground-esque." Niels chimed, finishing up the last of his salad. I nodded.

"We probably should get our asses over there, I just noticed the time." Martin stated, looking down at his watch. We paid for our meals, for some reason Martin paid for mine unbeknownst to me until the deed was done, and I thanked him. I wondered if he did this for all co-workers or friends or if there was another reason behind it.

We walked to the hotel so I could grab my things and get changed, deciding on my black ripped high waist jeans, and a long sleeve dark blue v-neck. Once we arrived to the venue, I again decided to take some photos during soundcheck, but I let my eyes wander to Martin and thought for a moment. The kind gestures, the worrisome tone in his voice when he thought he'd done something to upset me, and the little things like putting a hand on back to carrying my bags without asking. Could he possibly be interested in me? I hadn't had a partner in a long time, the last one I committed to didn't end well and it turned me off of relationships for a long time, for fear of getting hurt again.

There was a musician in between then, but it was never more than just sex. He had just divorced his wife and I had just left my fiancee. The more I thought about Martin, the more I convinced myself that no, there is no way he could be. I was young, my career just beginning to take off, and I was sure there was plenty of women with much more to offer him than I ever could. Maybe he just wanted to hookup. I quickly shook off that thought too though, having never received that vibe from him. I cursed myself for overthinking the entire situation and chalked it up to just him being a nice guy, calling it a night. We'd only known each other for four days, but we've come to know each other fairly well. He was the one I seemed to be spending the most time with.

We didn't have to leave first thing in the morning, as we technically had the day off minus the five hour drive to Hamburg, we decided to go out for drinks. There was a place not too far from our hotel called Bakken, and it was a pretty lively nightclub. Lots of people and good music to dance to. We grabbed a table, and all had our fair amount of liquor. I could tell Niels and Pär were getting very drunk, the latter looking like he was ready to get on a table and start dancing. Martin and Arvid were definitely getting there too, and it wasn't long till a blonde bombshell came to ask Arvid for a dance. He sure was a handsome man, I mean who wouldn't wanna fuck that guy?

Okay, yup, I'm drunk.

Pär eventually found a woman to dance with as well, which left us three musketeers. Still laughing too much and talking loud over the music, Niels turned to me, tugging my arm.

"Lets dance!" He shouted, dragging me to the dance floor before I even had time to answer. I shot Martin a look and felt guilty leaving him alone but he just shook his head, smiling and enjoyed his drink. I'm sure some beautiful woman would come whisk him away, the thought leaving a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew Niels had a girlfriend, so I wasn't worried about him making a move or anything, it was always very platonic between the two of us.

The music was loud, and there were lots of people on the dance floor. Niels did NOT know how to dance, but he really did know how to enjoy himself. I couldn't stop laughing as he was doing a really shitty robot. I knew I wasn't the best dancer either but hey, I'm in a foreign city, drunk off my ass like everyone else and I'd never see these people again. I didn't really care. A little while later Niels was tuckered, and we made way back to our table. Martin was still there, but Arvid and Pär had brought the women they were dancing with to the table with them. Before we made it past the crowd I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning to come face to face with a dark haired handsome stranger asking to dance.

I was drunk enough to say yes.

Flashing Niels a smile and a thumbs up, he returned both the gestures and I made my way back to the dance floor. This guy was a much better dancer than Niels, thats for sure. We got into tempo, and I was really feeling the music. We danced for a little while, his hands finding their way around my waist and we were getting closer. Pulling away for half a second, I felt a separate pair of hands on my shoulders, a pair of big hands. My vision was a bit hazy from the alcohol and all the dancing, but I knew it was Martin before I even turned around. I could smell his cologne. Looking up into his blue eyes, he barely let a second pass before he spoke.

"I believe its my turn."

Safe to say the other guy was completely forgotten. Martin and I danced for a while, both hammered. We were laughing non stop, he was twirling me and his hands wandered around my back, never seeming to find their resting place. He still kept it respectful though, not letting them wander lower, although at this point I would have welcomed it. We lost track of time, when Niels came up to us, still drunk, but looking as though he did sober a tiny bit.

"Its late, we should get back to our hotel." He placed a hand on my back and the boys both led me back to the table. Arvid and Pär seemed to have left already, probably with the women they were with most of the night. I smirked to myself. I thought about Niels' girlfriend and felt sad for him that he wasn't able to dance with her tonight.

My God I'm drunk. I giggled to myself.

So drunk, that I didn't notice the heated conversation that was happening a few feet behind me between two people I had grown close to over the past few days. Niels walked over and led me into a Taxi. It wasn't long before we reached our hotel, both men silent the whole way there. At this moment I didn't particularly care. I stumbled into the hotel, nearly toppling over but thankfully Martin caught me just in time. I giggled again.

"Sorry, M." I clung to his arm, and he chuckled. I don't know how this fucker was standing right now, I could tell he was still pretty drunk too.

"I'll make sure she gets to her room safe." Niels spoke. But I chimed in before decisions were made.

"Well that doesn't make sense, you're a floor below me, silly." My index finger 'booped' his nose. He rolled his eyes, fighting off a smirk.

"Yes, I know but-"

"I can fucking handle it Niels, relax." Martin spoke in a heated voice. Caught off guard by his tone, I smacked his arm.

"Hey, be nice! You know, I can get to my room just fine." I started walking to the elevator, clicking the button too may times out of impatience. I huffed and crossed my arms, waiting silently. When the doors finally opened, we made our way in and suffered an awkward silence. Niels did end up just retreating to his room, leaving me and Martin alone once again. He was a floor up, but he did go out of his way to make sure I got to my room okay. Maybe it was the liquor, maybe it was-no yeah, yeah it was the liquor and before I knew it the words just left my mouth.

"What the fuck was that about? Is there something going on that I don't know about? Did I do something to cause friction between the two of you? Because I'm not an idiot. If that's the case I'll book a flight home tomorrow and hook you up with a new photographer. I don't want to cause issues for-" He placed his hands on my shoulders, eyes boring into mine.

"Angel." He grabbed the key card from my hand and swiped it, opening the door and leading me inside the room. Sitting me down on the bed, he walked over to the kitchen area to get me some water. Once he returned with a glass, I took three large gulps as he sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like you've caused any issues." He paused for a moment, before speaking again. "Niels is just looking out for us, I guess is the best way to put it. You know, sometimes I feel like you two know something that I don't." You rose a brow, wondering what I could possibly keep from him. Before I had the chance to say anything though, he spoke again.

"You should get some sleep, love." Drunk and too tired to argue at this point, I nodded. Maybe I wouldn't even remember this conversation in the morning. He stood up, and before he could walk too far away I grabbed his hand in mine, and stood up myself, surprisingly steady. He turned back around to face me and I froze, I didn't mean for us to be this close but it just happened. I didn't move, and neither did he.

"I'm sorry." he spoke in the most quiet, and gentle voice I had ever heard. We stood there for a few moments, staring at each other but no words were spoken. His hand left my own, only for both of his hands to be placed on my wrists. They slowly made their way up my arms, to my shoulders, then to gently grab my face, his thumbs softly stroking my warm cheeks. My breath hitched, and I knew what was going to come next.

When his lips met mine, it was like time froze. I couldn't believe what I was feeling, I guess it had been so long since I had any sort of romantic comfort like this that wasn't just sexual. This didn't feel like that. My arms found their way around his thick neck, while his hands moved from my face down to the backs of my legs to pick me up. Quickly wrapping them around his waist, he spun around and place me gently on the table so we were equal height. He didn't move from his spot between my legs and I could feel my my lower region touching his stomach. I almost moaned at the feeling, and I could feel myself growing hotter and hotter. It took everything in me not to grind myself against him, wanting to feel more friction.

His lips still never left mine and I grew bold enough to open my mouth slightly, his tongue not wasting any time to meet my own. Our hands explored each other with intimate touches. When his lips pulled away, he softly rested his forehead against mine. He breathed in deeply, and exhaled slowly and shakily. His eyes were closed, his breath was hot, and I could smell the liquor coming from both of us. One hand made its way around my waist, holding me as close as possible, and the other hand that rested on my cheek gently slid down to my neck till it reached my chest, just above my breasts. He could feel my erratic heartbeat, and quick shallow breaths. He didn't move his hand, and we stayed like that for a few more seconds. But all good things must come to an end.

When he opened his eyes, he seemed to regain some of his senses. Looking at me, his eyes grew slightly wide, and he pulled away, not exactly wanting to I could tell as he fought with himself. Then, he spoke almost sounding in panic.

"I-I'm so sorry Angel. I'm-I-" He was shaking his head, cursing under his breath. "Fuck. I'm sorry."

He left without a glance back, leaving me feeling alone, cold, and confused.


	5. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some secrets are now out in the open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance guys.

Waking up the next morning, I didn't feel like moving from my bed. The kiss barely left my mind, and when it did, it somehow always came creeping back in. Having one of the worst sleeps of my life, I was not looking forward to the day ahead of me. We technically had it off, so for most of it I was free to do my own thing, but I still had to spend five hours in a van with the guys. Not that I minded, but the awkwardness that was sure to come along with Martin was the part I was dreading. How would he act? Like nothing ever happened or like I was invisible?

I didn't know which one was worse.

I was just so confused. Had I done something wrong? Was I a bad kisser? Did he feel pressured? It took my breath away, and it seemed like he wanted it just as much as I did. Ifelt something that I haven't felt in so long and there was something there that I thought he felt too. It really seemed like he did. Sighing, I looked over to the clock. Eleven AM. Forcing myself to get up, I took a shower and decided that if I wasn't going to feel good I might as well fucking look good. Blow drying my hair and styling my bangs, I also decided to put on some light makeup. I dusted a light rose color over my lids with a small black wing. Nothing too dramatic. Walking out toward the large window, it looked nice out. The sun was shining, very few clouds in the sky. I slipped on a dark colored floral print maxi skirt and paired it with a long sleeve, low cut v-neck black bodysuit. Looking at myself in the mirror, I was starting to feel a little better.

Hearing the familiar sound of an incoming text I checked my phone to see a message from Niels.

 **Niels Nielsen** : _Hey! Will you be ready to head out by 1?_  
**Angel** : _Sure can do. I'll meet you guys downstairs._  
**Niels** **Nielsen** : _Great!_

One o'clock rolled around and I had been outside already, smoking a cigarette. I waited patiently by the van, when I heard the familiar voices approaching. Looking up from my phone, they were all chatting among themselves. All except Martin, who was very obviously avoiding all eye contact possible with me. My fucking God, the rest of the tour was going to be long if this kept up. Shaking my head, I greeted the rest of them. Without a word, Martin was already on the opposite side of the van to shove his bags in the back and get in the drivers seat.

"How you feeling?" Niels had a shit eating smirk on his face, and I rolled my eyes smacking him lightly on the arm.

"Shut up." He grinned and laughed. "The real question is," I turned to Pär and Arvid, "how was _your_ guys' night? Hmm?" I smirked, raising my brows up and down. Not expecting that, they had a good laugh, shrugging there shoulders.

"It was okay." Pär spoke lowly.

"Just okay? Speak for yourself, man, I had a blast." Arvid quipped and I giggled, shaking my head.

The five hour drive wasn't so bad, although I could feel the tension radiating off of Martin I was unsure if anyone else had. If they did, they did a good job at hiding it. Thankfully we didn't stop for food, as that would have probably made matters worse.

When we got to our next destination, it was nearing six in the evening, and my stomach was rumbling.

Settling into my newest room at the Apricot hotel, it was simple and modern. Colors not ranging much from white, grey and black. There was idle talk about going to dinner at some fancy restaurant, but I didn't pay much attention. I was hungry, but still suffering from a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. And I really didn't feel like going to have dinner with have Martin pretending like I didn't exist. I could just order take out to my room. Looking out my hotel window, I got a text.

 **Niels Nielsen** : _You ready to head out??_

 **Angel** : _I'm not that hungry, you guys go without me!_

It was a couple of minutes later until I received another text.

 **Niels Nielsen** : _What really?? I heard your stomach growl on the way here haha_

I sighed, debating on an excuse for a few moments when I received another text.

 **Niels Nielsen** : Come on love, you look like an absolute knockout today and you're not going to come to one of the nicest restaurants in Hamburg? :((

I giggled to myself. Thanks Niels. Again, I contemplated. But instead of another text, it was a knock this time. Hesitating, I made my way over and peaked through the hole. Lo and behold, Niels. Part of me hoped it was Martin, to come in with some explanation for what the fuck happened last night, but I guess we couldn't get everything we wanted. Sighing again, I opened the door, and rose a brow.

"Hi, Niels." he welcomed himself inside the room, and as I shut the door he turned to me.

"Hello Angel." He mocked jokingly in the same tone. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't fight off the smile that made its way to my lips. Looking over at him, he wasn't as tall as Martin but he was definitely taller than me.

"So can I have the real reason you don't want to come out?" He placed a hand on my lower arm, eyes caring and ready to listen. I sighed, but I wasn't ready to talk about it. Especially not with Niels. I knew there had been some weird friction between the two and I don't think what happened last night would make it any better. My eyes met his again, and I sighed.

"I guess I'm just feeling a little homesick, is all." I lied, eyes averting from his once more. He gave me a sympathetic look.

"Is there anything I can do, love?" I shook my head.

"No. I'll be okay, it happens sometimes." He nodded in understanding.

"I don't want to tell you what to do or force you to go out, do you think that staying here by yourself is your best option?" No, Niels, I know its fucking not. Ugh, curse this man.

"Okay, okay. You're right. I'll go." Cracking a grin, he gave me a bear hug and a loud kiss on the cheek. Shoving him off me, I laughed.

"Fuck off, man." Ignoring me entirely, he grabbed my purse and key card for me, took my hand and led me out the door.

"Lets go!" I chuckled, and did my best to keep up with him. Wasn't the easiest in a maxi skirt.

Once we reached the lobby, the rest of the guys were waiting there for us. Arvid and Pär shot us a wave, and Martin nodded slightly but only making eye contact with Niels.

"What took you guys so long?" Pär questioned curiously.

"Oh nothing, just chatting about some of the good ol' In Flames days and lost track of time." He winked at me, letting go of my hand finally only to swing it around my shoulder and start leading me out of the building. I noticed he was still carrying my purse and I giggled. Turning his head, noticing the guys had not moved from their spot. Arvid and Pär shooting each other questioning looks and Martin looking slightly annoyed. I almost smirked, but held myself back from that one.

"Well come on, we're hungry, lets go!" Niels shouted.

The restaurant was super fancy, and I would have felt slightly under dressed if it wasn't for what the guys were wearing. Not that they looked like bums, but going to a place like this we could have all put a little bit more effort. We talked over fancy foods and drinks, and time actually flew by. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be thankfully, although Martin had still barely looked at me the entire time. I was on my third margarita by now, I wasn't drunk, but I definitely felt my spirits being lifted. Who cares if Martin wasn't talking to me? At least the rest of the guys were still acting normal. Still, no one seemed to noticed the tension between the singer and I.

The guys were talking about some Swedish television show, when Niels put a hand on my leg.

"You okay?" He whispered and I nodded to him. I was grateful that he seemed to care so much. I also think that was the first time Martin looked at me all evening, and it was a look filled with something that I couldn't quite place. I was certain it wasn't a positive look though. Whether it was jealousy or anger or something else, I couldn't tell. I guess Arvid didn't hear the question that was asked me, but noticed the hand that was on my leg, as he was sitting on my other side.

"Is everything okay, love?" By now all eyes were on me. I felt my face grow hot, as I looked down at my food suddenly feeling a little nauseous. As if Niels could feel my discomfort, he nodded to them.

"She was just feeling a little homesick today, that's all." He assured them.

"Oh, that's a relatable feeling. Have you spoken to any of your family since you've been gone?" Pär asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, my father. He called the other night to catch up. Time-zones are weird, they're five hours behind so its awkward I guess." I fiddled with the straw in my drink. They all nodded understandingly.

"Do you have a boyfriend back home, Angel?" Arvid asked, taking a sip of his drink. I was not prepared for that question. I shook my head quickly.

"No, I don't. Not really my thing." I cleared my throat, not sure if I was ready to talk about my ex or not. Niels knew the story already, after a drunk night of crying over it as shit just begun hitting the fan when touring with In Flames. I caught him up to par with the story when he first called me up, congratulating me. Although he was surprised it took me that long to give him to boot. He placed a comforting hand on my leg again.

"Ah, so a girlfriend then?" Jesus Christ, he took that the wrong way. Chuckling slightly, I shook my head. Niels put his head in his free hand, cursing his friend under his breath whilst shaking his head.

"Uh, no. I was engaged a couple of year ago and uh-well, I guess, well it just didn't work out." I was still fiddling with the straw before I decided I needed a sip of my drink. A big sip. Was it hot in here?

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring anything up." He sputtered, and I laughed lightly. Martin still didn't speak, staring down intently at his drink, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"No, its okay, Arvid. I can't go my whole life without speaking about it." I reassured him. I didn't feel Niels' hand leave its spot on my leg.

"Who's up for dessert?" Niels piped up, clearly wanting to change the subject and I was thankful for that.

We all had an amazing dessert and made our way back to the hotel. Niels insisted on paying for my dinner, since he knew I didn't really want to come out in the first place. We fought over it for a good five minutes until I gave up. There was no winning. The guys laughing at our antics, all except Martin.

Then, someone spoke what they must have all been thinking.

"Martin, man, you okay? You've been off all day." Pär lightly slapped his hand on his friends back, eliciting not much of a response. Making subtle eye contact with the boys, still not me, he nodded.

"Yeah, just a bit hungover from last night." The guys all laughed.

"Poor you, too much to drink huh?" Niels joked, Martin didn't laugh much, but the rest of them did.

"So I take it you guys don't want to go out for drinks tonight then?" Niels asked, Martin and Pär shook their heads, both opting to retreat to their rooms for the night. Arvid said he would and they both turned to me. Well, I could use a night to forget about Martin so I agreed.

After the show, we found ourselves at a nice pub called Klimperkiste, and enjoyed each others company and the atmosphere of the place. It wasn't anything like Bakken, it was quite relaxed. We were all pretty drunk by now, laughing and I knew I made the right decision to come out tonight.

"You should have seen this girl, Angel, she literally looked like she could take down the Rock if she wanted to. It was crazy!" I gasped and laughed along, nearly falling off my chair.

"She almost reminded me of the time Julie ran into that guy when we spent the night in Helsingborg." Niels smacked his knee.

"Yes, I remember that! Martin looked ready to kill the guy." My ears perked up at his name. The guys turned to me.

"So get this, one night a bunch of us decide to head to this bar, Martin brings his girlfriend and she seen this guy that she dated a few years back. He was massive, like, guy went to the gym every day for five hours a day massive." Niels went on to explain the story, and it was actually hilarious. Your laughter's had subsided and you took another sip of your beer.

"I heard them arguing over the phone the other night. I knew things were rocky, but it just seems to be getting worse." Niels spoke directly to Arvid who shrugged. I choked on my drink.

"Well, I was never much of a fan anyway." I paused, still not exactly sure if I was hearing this right. Niels started to respond when I interrupted him.

"Wait, like, the other night? As in, when we were in Gothenburg?" Niels nodded in confirmation. I felt myself grow pale.

I suddenly felt very, very drunk, and very sick. My chest tightened, and my head was spinning. The room felt like it had gone quiet, and my ears started to ring. The familiar feeling of anxiousness rose in the pit of my stomach, and I knew I needed to get out of the crowded bar. Lifting myself off the stool, stumbling slightly, Niels went to catch me but I pushed him away, looking passed him toward the entrance. I knew the guys said something but I couldn't hear them. My heart was racing.

"I need to go.."

I don't remember much between leaving the pub and getting back to the hotel. I do remember holding back tears, and being very uncomfortable. Surely, they were confused, but regardless Arvid had a comforting hand on my leg whilst Niels draped his arm around my shoulder. Neither of them spoke. I think they knew that now while I was wasted, was not the best time to ask questions. Getting into the hotel, they exchanged a few words that I did not hear and I slipped away toward the elevator. I don't remember Arvid heading for his room, or him saying goodnight.

Niels asked for my key card, witch I struggled to get out of my purse, fighting off the tears until I couldn't anymore. After one tear slipped, it wouldn't stop. Throwing my purse on the ground, frustrated I nearly fell to my knees but Niels caught me in his arms before I hit the ground. Grabbing my purse, he quickly fished out the key card and opened the door, practically carrying me inside. He sat me on the bed, retreated somewhere and came back with water. Not wanting to drink it, I did anyway. I let my face fall in my hands, and I cried quietly.

Niels stayed with me for the next while, both of us sobering up a little. He let me cry, his hand rubbing circles on my back. I thought about everything. I thought about Martin. The kind gestures, his caring words, his demeanor towards me, it was all just because he was trying to be nice. But then,he kissed me and I knew that it wasn't him just trying to be nice.

And now, I hear he has a _fucking girlfriend?_ I couldn't believe it. Just when I started to calm down, the second wave hit me and I was just so frustrated. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Getting up completely flustered, I huffed and paced.

"Angel, love, can you please tell me whats going on?" Niels begged, still seated on the bed. The worry in his voice was evident.

"Whats going on?" I stopped pacing to face him, and incredulous look on my face. I was very angry, and very hurt. " _Whats going on?_ The guy has a fucking girlfriend!" I all but shouted, raising my hands in the air.

" _And?_ Angel, why the hell is that a problem?" He rose from his spot, walking over to me and taking my hands in his to bring them down. My eyes full of tears, they stared into his. Suddenly, something seemed to dawn on him and a look made its way to his face that I couldn't place.

"Angel, did...did something happen?" He asked lowly. I averted my eyes, looking down at the ground. This could not be happening.

"Why couldn't anybody mention he has a girlfriend? Why couldn't _he_ mention he has a girlfriend?" I took my hands back, turning to face the other way.

"Angel. You need to explain what happened. I can't help you love, if you don't tell me what happened." I still faced the other way. Taking a deep breath, I answered.

"Last night, after the club when Martin walked me to my room and..." I sighed, again, and he nodded, beckoning for me to continue. "We kissed." I spoke quietly, looking down at my shoes, embarrassed. How could I be so naive?

His eyes widened, and it took him a few moments to process. "Fucking hell." He shook his head, rubbing his face with his hands.

" _Nobody fucking told me Niels!_ Jesus fuck, do you think I would have kissed him if I -"

"No, Angel, I know you wouldn't have and I'm not blaming you! I fucking told him-" He stopped mid sentence. I looked at him, waiting for him to continue but he didn't, just shook his head again and turned away.

"You fucking what, Niels? Do you realize how _awful_ I feel about this? Its embarrassing! I actually thought that he might, like me, and feel the same as I did when we kissed and then he just fucking left! He left me alone and I-" I stopped.

It all made sense now. The way he left, it was guilt. He knew he'd done something wrong. What was I supposed to think now? What the hell was I supposed to do now? Finish the tour? Now that Niels knew, there's no way no one else wouldn't find out and there's no way his girlfriend wouldn't find out. I would have to go home. I was in full blown panic mode now, so much that I didn't see Niels storm out of the room.

Leaving me feel even worse than the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks EVERYONE for the feedback, and the birthday wishes! I hope you all continue to leave those positive comments. I've barely left my house this past month after my place of employment closed due to covid-19, and those comments really brighten my dull days. I appreciate it SO much.


	6. What the Fuck Are You Doing Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel runs into a familiar face Berlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves, sorry in advance
> 
> *There is smut in this chapter, so read at your own discretion.*

I sat down on the bed, unsure of what to do next. Part of me wanted to get up this second and leave, but I obviously knew I couldn't. Did I do the right thing, telling Niels? Should I have just kept it to myself and let things play out the way they were meant to? The guilt would have eaten me alive. Should I have talked to Martin first? Would he tell his girlfriend?

I wanted answers. Should I go confront him now? No, it was late and Niels was definitely giving him an ear full right now. I sighed, maybe telling Niels wasn't the best idea.

Tired, drunk and sad I just decided to go to bed.

I woke the next morning to a knock on my door. Cracking an eye open I glanced at the clock beside my bed. Half passed ten. I didn't get up right away, but the knocking didn't stop and I was getting annoyed. Begrudgingly, I got out of bed and sluggishly made my way over to the door. Opening it revealed Niels, juggling two full plates of breakfast and two steaming hot cups of coffee. Looking like he was definitely about to spill something I quickly grabbed the hot coffees from in between his arms and chest.

"Come in." I held the door for him with my foot but he did not move. Coughing quietly, looking me up and down I forgot I was probably not in the most appropriate clothing, only sporting a Doors t-shirt that covered just below my ass, and my fancy panties from the night before. Cringing, I ushered him in anyway.

"You woke me up, man, don't worry I'll put some fucking pants on." Shaking his head, he chuckled, avoiding all eye contact with me. I rolled my eyes and slipped on a pair of plaid pj bottoms. I made my way over to the table as he was pulling out a bottle of Ibuprofen from his pocket. Thank fuck, my head was killing me. He winked and shot the bottle at me, and I caught it thanking him.

We ate our breakfast in silence, and sipped our coffees. He could obviously tell the events from last night were still eating away at me, and I wanted to ask him where the hell he went off to but I decided against it, just wanting to enjoy the silence for a little while longer. Clearly, that wasn't meant to be.

"Hear him out, Angel." Bringing my forkful of eggs to my mouth I paused, eyes meeting his. I cocked a brow.

"Its...a little complicated. I didn't think it was, but I guess it is." I proceeded to eat my eggs, not breaking eye contact. "And it's not my place to say, I suppose. I think it would mean more if it came from him anyway."

"Whats so complicated about not making out with other people if you have a girlfriend?" Niels was quiet for another couple of moments, finishing off the rest of his plate. Moving it to the side, he took a sip of his coffee. "I don't even know how not once these past four days she has not been brought up once by any of you. It just doesn't make any fucken sense!" I was growing frustrated.

"Well, not many of us like her all that much to begin with." He was quick to defend.

"And that makes it okay?" I was quick to retaliate. Sighing, he shook his head.

"Just please, go speak with him. I think he's just as embarrassed as you." Yeah, you cheat on your girlfriend and were caught by your best friends, embarrassing for sure. I stayed quiet, and suddenly I just wasn't hungry anymore. Not finishing my food I stood, grabbing his empty plate and throwing our remnants in the trash. I slowly made my way back over to my seat and sat down, placing my head in my hands. I sighed.

"Can you tell me why things have seemed so...weird between the two of you? I'm not an idiot, and I don't want to be treated like one. The looks you've been giving him, the times you think I suddenly become deaf, what is it all about?"

H stayed silent, eyes staring into his almost empty coffee cup.

"Angel, I-" He shook his head, clearly not wanting to talk about it but knowing I wouldn't let it go so easily. I said nothing, waiting for him to continue. "There are things that, well, I didn't know." He started.

"I seen the way he looked at you, he doesn't just...do all these things for everyone. Yes, he's a personable man, and does a lot for a lot of people but...I just, I knew there was something else behind his actions with you." Huh.

What does that even matter anymore? The reality was, he could break up with his girlfriend tomorrow, how could I ever trust him? What he did to her, he could do to me. I promised to not put myself in that compromising position again, and I wasn't going to. It just wouldn't work.

Nodding my head slowly, I still stayed silent. None of this was making sense. He sighed.

"Look, love, all I'm going to say is things with his relationship are...complicated." He repeated, and I rolled my eyes. "Just give it a few days for things to calm down, then I think you should both talk." My eyes never left my twiddling fingers.

When I finally spoke, the dreaded question was asked.

"Are you sure I shouldn't just go home?" His eyes widened, but I didn't give him time to continue. "Hear me out, okay, I know some amazing photographers who would be more than happy to assist you. I just...maybe its not me." I put my head down. Shaking his head vigorously, he stood and walked over, placing his hands on the sides of my arms.

"Please, stay. We don't want you to go home, none of us do." He started, lifting my chin with one of his hands so my eyes would have no choice but to meet his. "I understand if this is all too much for you, and none of us will force you to stay." I felt like I was about to get emotional again, and it took everything in me to hold back.

"And I'm not worried about getting another photographer. Honestly, if it's not you, then I don't want one at all." He spoke so kindly. I smiled, and it felt like it was for the first time in a while. He continued, "Know that we love having you around. Before you make any decisions, please, just think about it? For a day or two, that's all I ask." He pleaded. Averting my eyes, I nodded in defeat. Niels had done a lot for me, and has become one of my closest friends in this past while. I didn't want to disappoint him, and part of me knew he was right. Sometimes, I didn't make the best decisions, especially when I was upset.

"Arvid must be so confused." I got up from my seat and headed towards the washroom, I needed a shower.

"I've already spoken to him. Everything's fine, although he is slightly worried about you."

"What did you say to him?" I peaked around the door at him, curiously. He was barely telling me anything, so what could if have possibly told Arvid?

"Well, the three of us had a talk. Arvid was with us last night so it only made sense. No ones spoken to Par yet, though, not that that would matter right now." So Martin, Arvid and Niels had a talk. Well okay then, glad everyone knows everything but me.

This fucking sucked.

Niels left shortly after, stating he would come get me at some point this afternoon. The band was to play at Logo, a nightclub not too far from our hotel.

I spent most of the afternoon watching shitty hotel TV, and finishing the rest of my book. I ordered some Chinese takeout to my room, and ended up getting a FaceTime call from my dad, catching up for a good hour. He asked how the tour was going, I lied and said absolutely fantastic. I didn't want him to worry. By the time 5 o'clock hit, I decided to get myself ready. I tugged on a pair of dark blue high waist jeans and a mustard yellow cropped knit sweater. I left my hair down again today, but brushed through the knots quickly. I gathered my gear and threw on my shoes when Niels came knocking at the door. Just in time.

I greeted him and we were on our way.

The rest of them were already at the venue, spending the entire afternoon setting up their equipment and doing soundchecks to ensure everything ran smoothly. The outside of the club didn't look too inviting, but the inside was actually pretty neat. Lots of laser lights were set up, and it was very underground. I grew a little more excited, as I loved doing shoots with lots of colorful lights and effects. They always turned out pretty epic, and that's why I especially enjoyed my time with Ghost.

Setting my bags down backstage, I was greeted with a drink from Arvid. I took it generously, and I tried to shake the embarrassment as I felt my face heat up. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"How are you feeling today, love?" He asked sincerely. I smiled small and nodded.

"I'm okay, Arvid. I'm...sorry about last night." I looked down, but he quickly shushed me, tilting my head up with his free hand.

"No, no apologizing, okay? Not your fault my brother is an idiot sometimes." He grinned, and I couldn't help but laugh. Well, I guess we could agree on that one. He quickly change the subject, and I was grateful. The conversation flowed like normal, and the events from last night were quickly forgotten.

We were talking about our travels, and places we've been Martin came through the door. Neither of us expecting the other to be there, we made very awkward eye contact and I lost track of what I was even saying to Arvid.

"Alright guys, we ready?" Niels came barging in through the door, and I thanked my stars. Arvid nodded, Martin averted his eyes, making his way back out to the side of the stage. Arvid gave me a sympathetic look, but I shook my head and grabbed my camera, both of us walking through the door.

The show went well, the guys did great like always. The lights were amazing, exactly what I hoped for and I got so many cool shots. I did my best to steer clear of Martin, but that wasn't exactly easy considering he was center stage.

The next day came quickly, and I still had not talked to Martin. Not that I didn't want to, but he was making his best efforts still to avoid me. Frustrated, I sighed. I decided that I should just tough out the rest of the tour, only a little over a week left anyway, and I was doing it for Niels. I didn't want to disappoint him. After that, I would never have to even look at Martin again if I didn't want to. But I guess that was the problem too. That't not what I wanted.

I just wanted to talk to him. Niels said it was complicated, and I still had no answers. I missed things not being so weird, and I missed his company, I missed his voice, as weird as that sounds.

What the hell was wrong with me? What was it with this man?

Complicated. What could that possibly even mean? These thoughts plagued my mind all the way to Berlin, and I spent most of the way there looking out the window quietly. What started out as a wonderful experience and hopeful relationships had somehow turned into a disaster. Arvid tried to include me in most conversations, but seemed to give up after a while.

Reaching the hotel, Angleterre, it looked more like a cathedral than a hotel. Inside, it was very modern and decadent. My room was nice, and had a beautiful view once again. They really did know how to pick the hotels, I'll give them that. It was currently almost one, and I decided to head out and maybe do some shopping. I spotted lots of nice looking shops around the hotel, and the sun bright. I decided on a black high waist lace up pleated skirt, with a black high collar long sleeve shirt. Altough the sun was shining, it still wasn't necessarily very warm.

The first hour flew by, I bought a new dress and pair of shoes. I grabbed myself a fancy iced coffee drink and was walking back to my hotel when I spotted a cool looking music store. Deciding to go in and have a look around, I ended up buying a few vinyls to add to my ever growing collection back home. I thanked the really nice guy that gave lovely service, and made my leave. Swinging the door to the shop open, it was much lighter than the first time, and I almost fell over with how much force I put into it. Almost colliding with a body, this guy must've opened the door at the same time I did. Eyes meeting, my mouth dropped.

"Tobias?"

"Angel?"

" _What the fuck are you doing here?_ " We both asked at the same time. Locked eyes, we started to laugh and I was soon engulfed in a bear hug.

"I'm here for the next week or so, we started recording the new album at Blackbird." He smiled. I nodded, having no idea where that was, but I assumed it was a studio. "And you?"

I was not expecting to run into Tobias, let alone having to tell him I was touring with a band that one of is old best friends was part of.

"Oh, I'm here for work." But obviously, that wasn't enough for the musician. He pressed the matter.

"I figured." He chuckled. "And who's the lucky artist?" Ugh. I didn't want to do this right now. Shifting, I guess I needed to just rip the band aid.

"Well, about a week after the Prequelle tour ended I got a call from Niels Nielsen...we worked together a couple of summers ago and he asked if I wanted to accompany his band for the next two weeks." His brows shot up in surprise.

"Oh?" He blinked, and I nodded, shifting again.

"Yup." It was quiet for a few moments until he spoke again.

"So...Magna?" I nodded.

"Yup." Looking at his watch, his eyes quickly met mine again.

"Do you have any time to spare? I'd love to have lunch and catch up." Okay, not what I was expecting, I was relieved. I still wondered what happened between the two artists, but I obviously was not in a place to question right now. Smiling, I nodded.

"For you, T? Anytime."

We had a nice lunch at a place of Tobias' choice, since I had no idea where was good anyway, called Gasthaus Krombach. It wasn't too fancy but it definitely wasn't a casual diner either. We caught up and he vaguely spoke about the new album, not wanting to reveal too much and more about the divorce from his wife. They were in the eye of the storm during the tour, but I guess it ended smoothly, and they still remained friends, which is nice especially when you share children together. He asked about any upcoming gigs I had, and I told him about the phone call from Eddie Vedder, him knowing I was a huge Pearl Jam fan.

"I can just see it now. Oh _yes Eddie_ , of course I'll do it, anything for you my sweet _Eddie!_ " He spoke in a high pitch voice, flailing his arms slightly and I leaned over, smacking his hand down.

"That's not exactly how it went..." My face turning a bright shade of pink. He giggled.

"I'm so happy for you, you'll do great." He reassured as we finished up our meals. We each had two beers, and it was nice to see a familiar face that I could talk to and be normal with, like shit wasn't entirely fucked. Well, slightly I guess.

"So tell me, how do you know Niels again?" I remembered telling him about In Flames, but maybe he forgot, or he didn't really make the connection for himself.

"We toured together a few summers ago with In Flames." I smiled, polishing off my beer. The waiter came to bring our bill, and I noticed he only brought one. How awkward.

"Here, I got the cash for you." I started to pull out my wallet when he flipped me off. My jaw dropped a bit, and I flipped him off too, returning the gesture. He made a face.

"Seriously, I got it love." Rolling my eyes, I huffed and shoved my wallet back in my purse.

"Fine. But next time, on me." I pointed to myself like I meant business. He just smirked.

"Yeah, we'll see." He paid the waiter, and tipped nicely. "So how's Martin? And his brother? Its been a while."

Ugh.

"Oh, uh, they're good." I stuttered but quickly retaliated with a huge grin. He slowly rose a brow, pursing his lips and nodding slightly.

"That didn't sound too convincing." He kind of laughed.

"Yeah, sorry, I just, uhm..."I did not want to be having this conversation right now.

"Is it me? Has he mentioned me?" He looked worried now, and I quickly shook my head.

"No! No, nothing to do with you. He hasn't said a word about you and if I'm being honest, I'm not sure if he even knows we've ever worked together." He nodded slowly.

"So...what is it then?" I paused, still unsure of what to say. Should I tell him? Did he know his girlfriend? I knew nothing of either of those relationships.

"Uhm, well, its a long -" I was cut off by the sound of my phone ringing. Fishing it out of my purse quickly, I saw it was Niels. Motioning for Tobias to give me a minute he nodded.

"Hey, whats up?" I picked up nonchalantly.

"Hey, I've been knocking on your door, where the hell are you? Thought you died." He joked on the other line. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"No, I'm out. Why? Did you need something?"

"Well...It's four thirty so I came to grab you?" I muttered a 'shit' under my breath, looking at the clock it indeed was four thirty.

"I'll be there asap. Don't worry about taking me though I can cab. You guys just do your thing and I'll be there soon." I hung up before he could protest. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go, T. I'm late." We both stood.

"No worries, but I'm not going to let you cab. I rented a car, I'll take you. Where you headed?" I felt like a burden.

"You really don't need to do that, T, I'll be okay." I smiled, I didn't want him to feel forced. He paid for my meal and that was more than generous of him. Shaking his head, he gave me a look that told me not to fight, cause he'd drag me in the car if I tried to get away. I sighed.

"Okay..."

He rented a sweet ride, a new looking BMW in, well, black of course. Would it be Tobias if it wasn't?

He drove me to the hotel to fetch my gear quickly, I kept the same outfit on, not really having time to change. He also insisted on waiting and driving me to the club.

"BiNuu is a very nice place to be playing at, I'm happy for them." He spoke kindly. I then decided to just fucking ask the question I had been wondering since the start of the tour.

"So what exactly happened there? He's never mentioned anything, was it bad?" I tread lightly, unsure if I was overstepping my boundaries. He shrugged, not looking like I upset him by asking, but not really looking like he wanted to get into it right now. I nodded before he could say anything.

"Don't worry about it, T. Just curious, was all. You don't have to tell me." Looking over at me, he smiled. So I guess something not so great happened. He didn't seem mad, but more...sad. It broke my heart a little bit.

He dropped me off at the back of the venue, and I thanked him. We hugged tightly and bid our farewells, stating we'd keep in touch. He didn't drive away until he seen me walk inside the building.

BiNuu reminded me a lot of Nalen Stora, as it had elegant high ceilings and archways, a beautiful red glow and was very large your voice echoed on for what seemed like forever. I made my way to the back of the stage, and was greeted by Niels.

"Hey! Where'd you head off to this afternoon?" He was getting some of the final things ready before soundcheck.

"Oh, I went shopping, grabbed lunch and coffee. Was nice." I smiled, leaving out the whole Tobias part. Not that I wanted to hide it from Niels, but I just didn't want to be the cause of anymore drama. He nodded.

"Good! Glad you had a good day." He grinned, kissing my cheek before running off to god knows where. I giggled, that guy sometimes.

In my opinion, this was the best show they played yet. The sound was there, the energy was there, and they all did fantastic. I got some wicked shots of everyone, especially Martin. For the first time in what felt like a long ass time, even though it was only two or three days, he hadn't avoided the lens of my camera.

We all stayed for drinks, and by the time I hit my third my phone started to ring. Excusing myself from the round table, I grabbed my purse and headed to the washroom to pick it up. Looking at the Caller ID, it was Tobias. I didn't expect him to call so soon, or this late for that matter.

"Tobias? Whats up?" The music was still loud, but the bathroom sort of muffled the sounds and I could hear him okay.

"Are you busy, Angel?" The tone of his voice caught me off guard for a minute, but then I smirked, knowing exactly what it meant. I could feel myself getting hot.

"I'm just at the club still, but the show is over and its nothing I can't escape. Why?" I teased, egging him on. "What do you need, _Tobias?_ " I spoke his name low and slow. I heard a faint groan.

" _You._ I'm already outside of the club. Get your sexy ass out here." I giggled.

"Okay, you'll have to give me a minute." I hung up before he had the chance to respond.

I was about to tell the guys I was heading out, but thought better of it, afraid one of them would insist on walking me back to the hotel. I would send them a text when I got inside T's car, and tell them I took a taxi. This was not what I was was expecting at all today. It was such a strange coincidence that I met Tobias in fucking Berlin, and that I was ironically on tour with his ex band mate. How bizarre. But it made me feel...comforted? Like I was in the right place at the right time. I thought about Martin, and I didn't hurt anymore, like everything would eventually work itself out. I smiled.

Peaking out the bathroom door, I looked to my table to see none of the guys looking my way, making it the perfect opportunity to sneak away.

I noticed Tobias' car right away, as he had the passenger window rolled down and was blasting Behemoth. I laughed, hopping in.

"Nothing turns you on more than the voice of our dear Nergal, eh?" I grinned. Fighting a smile he whispered a faint 'fuck off', turned the volume down aggressively and grabbed my face in his hands. His lips met mine quickly, and we shared one of the hottest make out sessions I ever had. Filled with need, passion, and lust, his hands moved their way around the back of my neck and he tugged my hair lightly. I dipped my head back as his lips made their way down to my neck, licking and nipping the flesh of my neck softly. His free hand that was not tangled in my hair rested itself on my chest, then made its way down to massage one of my breasts. He faintly whispered something about my 'stupid fucking bra' and I held back chuckle. His tongue ran slowly from my collar bone up to my jaw, then his lips met mine once again. Scratch that, it was the hottest make out session I ever had. Maybe this and Martin's were tied. I mentally cursed myself for thinking of him right now.

Not wanting to pull away, I did. He groaned. I wanted to go back to the hotel, right now.

"Lets go T, I'm about ready to have you right now in this car if you don't get us back to my hotel." I spoke lowly, he growled, speeding out of the parking lot, all but squealing his tires. While he drove, I shot Niels a quick text, stating I was heading back to the hotel cause I was tired. I didn't bother reading the response.

We couldn't keep our hands off each other the whole way up to my room. Trying to fish the key card out of my purse, he made it very difficult as he stood behind me pressed himself against me. His hands roamed from my stomach, to my breasts, down to my ass giving it a light squeeze. His arm moved to wrap itself around my torso to pull me closer. His lips never left my neck, only to give a little nibble to my earlobe when I gave a ticklish yelp, and giggled. He laughed.

"Having trouble, there?" He mocked lightly.

"Well, maybe if you could keep your hands to yourself for five seconds." I chided. He shrugged, not letting go of my waist as his other hand made its way to grab my face, turn it around so his lips could meet mine. He then shoved his hand in my purse to help me find the key card, grabbing it quickly and swiping it. Impressive.

Picking me up, he kicked the door open with his foot as he carried me inside and threw me down on the bed. He hovered over me, hands roaming my body once again, like he was exploring for the first time. We both knew that wasn't the case, having done this many times together before.

"It's been too long." He whispered between kisses, his hand slid down to my still clothed pussy, and gently pressed. I giggled.

"Its barely been, what, three months?" I smirked at him.

"Three months too long." He finally began to undo the strings of my skirt, then pushed the fabric down gently, his hands caressing my legs slowly. Once they were discarded to the floor, he yanked me closer to the end of the bed and got down on his knees. Inhaling deeply, he licked and kissed at the insides of my thighs slowly making his way closer and closer to my sensitive heat.

I was very wet and it was quite noticeable, even through my black lace panties. Once he got close enough to my core he breathed in deeply again, and shakily exhaled.

" _Du luktar så gudomligt, min älskling.*_ " Fuck I loved it when he spoke Swedish. It was hot. I took a shaky breath myself.

"Can I taste you, tonight, _kärlek_ **?" I nodded, unable to form words. I think I heard him laugh lowly. That's when I heard the ripping sound of my panties, my heat now fully exposed. I shivered.

"Fuck." Was all I could manage.

"I thought about bending you over the table at lunch." He spoke, and I felt him press a gentle kiss on my clit, his breath hot. He placed another one, before I felt his tongue swipe up gently. "You looked so fucking good." I let out another shaky breath. He proceeded to make the same motions another couple of times, until he gently began sucking on my sensitive lips. His hands gripped my thighs tight, lifting them and pushing me back so he could re-position himself more comfortably on the bed.

" _Look at me._ " He demanded lowly.

His eyes were dark, mine glazed. I studied his face and almost let out a moan at the sight of my wetness glistening around his lips. His mouth found its way back to my core but his eyes never left mine. Taking long and slow strides with his tongue, I finally felt a finger make its way to my clit, massaging it gently.

"Are you enjoying this, _Ängel?_ " The way he spoke my name in his native tongue could've made me cum then and there. Unable to form words, all I could was nod. He smirked, but said nothing. Without warning, he slid a finger inside me, immediately finding my most sensitive spot. He knew exactly what I liked, and how to get me to come undone within minutes. But he took his time tonight, wanting to make sure I was fully satisfied. The hands that gripped my thighs made there way up and under my shirt and bra to fondle my breasts. He pinched my pierced nipples, and groaned.

"I forgot about those." I sighed in content.

After what felt like forever, he slid a second finger in me and picked up his pace, his tongue lapping my juices and I finally let out my first real moan of the evening. I could feel him smirk against me, and it wasn't long after that he tipped me over the edge, my walls contracting around his fingers. He sighed.

" _Knulla Ja_ ***." He groaned. He slid his fingers out slowly, bringing them to his lips to suck every last drop. He did this every time, and it was one of my favorite sights. Nestling himself beside me, we turned to face each other as his mouth met mine again. I wasted no time in pulling his shirt over his head, observing his pale body. He really was an attractive man, with a nice build. He proceeded to take mine off as well as my bra, exposing my breasts. He grabbed them both and nuzzled his face in between them, laying me back down on my back, his body hovering over mine once more.

"Finally." I laughed, as he began sucking on my left nipple, licking and nibbling at it. He really did love those piercings.

Not long after, all of his clothes were off, his cock rock hard and glistening with precum.

"Is it my turn yet, T?" I questioned in a light voice, I wanted to make him feel good now. We sat facing each other now, and he smirked grabbing my face in his hands as he pulled me in for another needy kiss.

"Such a good girl." His accent was thick when he spoke those words and I felt it hit deep in my core. Taking charge, I gently laid him down on his back as I made my way down to his member, teasingly letting it softly touch between my breasts. They were now slightly covered in precum and I felt him twitch beneath me.

Not taking it in my hands quite yet, I licked from base to tip, our eyes locked. Reaching the tip, I gently pressed a subtle kiss on it, eliciting a deep moan from Tobias. I teased a little longer, till even I couldn't handle it anymore, just wanting a good taste of his cock. I wrapped my lips around his member, and bobbed my head up and back down slowly, taking his thickness all the way. My tongue swirled around his member, it was getting quite messy and I knew that's just how he liked it. He was groaning, hands gripping my hair gently as he guided my head down on his cock. I felt him twitch in my mouth, the familiar feeling of him getting close.

Suddenly, he pulled my mouth off of him and placed me down on my back roughly. Another couple of licks and kisses up my neck and to my lips, he placed his cock at my entrance. Already soaking wet, and my saliva still covering his cock, it slid in nice and easy, and he slowly shoved himself balls deep inside me. Neither of us moved for a moment, both moaning at the sensation. I was so full, and it felt so good. He buried his head in my neck, and his breath was hot against me. My arms around his neck, one found its way into his somewhat short hair.

He began to move slowly at first, but picked up his pace sooner than I expected. Not that I was complaining.

He slammed in and out of me, lifting himself up to grip my thighs and shove himself as deep as he could get. We were both a moaning mess. We went at it like that for a while, he liked to see the look on my face while he fucked me. He liked to see what he did to me, and I liked to see what I did to him too. He eventually ended up flipping me over, placing me on all fours and stuck my ass in the air.

"You've got the cutest little ass." He bent down slightly, each cheek in one of his hands as he kissed both of them. I smirked, face turning slightly pink.

I wasn't expecting the smack that followed, even though I should have, and then his cock was back inside me. He fucked me at a relentless pace, with much need. His hands gripping my ass, I could tell it was probably red by now. He massaged and smacked once again.

"Fuck." I groaned. Wrapping one of his arms around my waist he lifted me so my back was pressed against his front, as he buried his face in my neck once again.

" _Du tar min kuk så bra._ ****" He nipped at the flesh of my neck and sucked. I would definitely have a mark there tomorrow. " _Du mår så bra runt mig_.*****"

He whispered things in Swedish that I obviously didn't fucking understand and I felt myself coming undone around his cock. I milked him, clenching my walls around his member and that's when I felt the familiar twitch inside me. He came, hard, still fucking me with fervor until every last drop of his seed was buried deep within me.

We both collapsed on the bed, and he wrapped his arms around me, cock still not moving from its comfortable spot inside my pussy. Breathless and tired enough to have both fallen asleep.

I woke the next morning, his arms still wrapped around me, my head on his chest. Looking around the room, the dawn of a new day was shining through the curtains.

"Morning, älskling." He spoke softly, kissing my temple. I smiled softly.

"Morning, T." And like I always said, all good things must come to an end. I shot up in a panic, wondering what time it was, since we needed to be headed for Cologne this morning. Looking around to the clock, it read 6:25AM. I sighed, thanked my stars and laid back down for a minute.

"Sorry for keeping you. But I'm not." He smirked and I laughed. I wasn't sorry either.

"Think we have time for a shower? If you'd like to have one with me, of course." He asked, sitting up slightly to lean over me as he moved a strand of hair from my face.

"I think we do." I grinned.

We fucked again in the shower, this time it didn't as long though as we were a bit more pressed for time. I didn't have any clothes for him, obviously, and I felt bad that he had to put on his clothes from the night before but he didn't seem to care much. His hotel wasn't too far from here anyway.

Sadly, it was time for us to part ways. I knew one of the guys, probably Niels, would come knocking on the door anytime soon to come get me and we obviously didn't want things to be weird.

We shared one more kiss, his arms wrapping themselves around me. We assured each other we'd keep in touch once again. With one last light slap on my ass he opened the door, almost walking directly into the burly figure that neither of us expected to be standing there.

It was dead quiet for a moment, a look of surprise across all our faces.

"...Tobias?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> *You smell so divine, my darling  
> **love  
> ***Fuck yes  
> ****You take my cock so well  
> *****You feel so good around me


	7. Hello, Paris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Martin have a much needed discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, guess I was having a little bit of trouble with this chapter. Hope you all enjoy.

We all stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Dead quiet after Martin spoke Tobias' name, you could hear a pin drop. A look of pure horror washed upon my face as I knew, it was exactly what it looked like. I wondered how long it had been since they'd seen each other.

Martin looked very confused, and a little pissed off. Tobias just stood there, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Of fucking course the day that Martin would finally come talk to me would be right now. That was just my luck. We obviously should have went to T's hotel, and I silently cursed myself for that mistake.

Tobias was the first to speak up.

"Hey, Martin." He tried to sound somewhat nonchalant, but the edge in his voice was very present. I could tell. This was bad, very bad and I was ready to crawl in a fucking hole and die of embarrassment now.

"What..."He started, his eyes darting to mine, then back to Tobias. "What the fuck?" Neither of us spoke. Tobias and I locked eyes, both unsure of what to say or do in this moment. T didn't know anything about Martin and I, and Martin surely didn't know Tobias and I knew each other.

"Tobias was in the area for work, we ran into each other yesterday." I spoke this time, shifting nervously. Martin stayed silent, eyes still darting between the two of us. He observed for a moment, obviously taking note that we had just showered together as our hair was wet. I cringed. Martin cocked a brow.

"Oh yeah?" Yikes. T and I just nodded. It was quiet for another couple of seconds. I felt like a kid in kindergarten getting in trouble.

"I uh, I worked with Tobias a while ago. Wrapped up the last leg of Prequelle with the band." Silence.

"I see." He looked to Tobias. "How have you been? I heard about your divorce. That's too bad." T shrugged. My eyes darted between the two of them.

"Been good, and don't be. Its not the end of the world. Just wasn't meant to be." He gave a half smile. Another few awkward moments passed. Tobias really was trying to be nice, and as he opened his mouth to speak again Martin cut him off.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone then." his voice was cold, I nearly shivered. He nodded to the ex band mate, and his eyes met mine. "We'll be leaving in half an hour." And with that, he walked away. I sighed, and placed my head in my hands. Why did this shit always happen to me? I heard the door close, and felt a hand gently rest on my shoulder.

"Hey, its okay. Martin and I couldn't spend the rest of our lives without seeing each other, its all fine." Yeah, it would be great if that was the only issue. Shaking my head I stayed quiet.

"Whats wrong? Is there something else?" He questioned with concern. I shrugged a shoulder, placing my hands down in defeat, I slightly avoided eye contact. Should I tell him about what happened between Martin and I? I mean, it would be weird, we did just fuck. Twice. And many times before that, not that it was ever anything more than that. I sighed, frustrated. I guess he deserved to know, I didn't like feeling like I was keeping secrets from people.

"Martin and I haven't spoken in a few days...and I think he," I paused, trying to find the words. He waited patiently, but I could see the confusion making its way to him. "I think he might have been coming to confront me about the situation." I finished. The look he gave me read that he still had no idea what the fuck I was talking about.

"And what happened? That doesn't really sound like him." He pressed.

"Its a bit of a long story..." he made no motion to leave, so I guess it was now or never. "I'll give you the short version." Knowing I'd have to be downstairs and ready to go soon I moved to gather my things.

"We kissed." I was quickly shoving my clothes back in my suitcase. "He basically ran for the hills, and we haven't spoken since." brushing my semi wet hair quickly, I threw it back in my bag and zipped it shut. "Then the cat was let out of the bag. The cat being his girlfriend." I gathered my bags, and slipped on my jean jacket. He could tell I was upset, surely, and he watched me from the same spot.

"So...you and Martin kissed?" That was seriously all he got from that? I shot him a look.

"The fucker has a girlfriend. Did you know that? Cause I didn't." I spoke sarcastically, in a passive-aggressive tone.

"Julia? They're still together?" His brows shot up. I nodded.

"According to everyone else, yes."

"I don't know why, that ship should have sailed a long fucken time ago." Now, it was my turn to be confused.

"Well, I don't fucking know anything about anything. Nobody is telling me shit, and as soon as he was about to, well." I rose my hands slightly, motioning to us, and his face fell slightly.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. Jesus Christ, now I felt bad. Calming myself down, I let out a deep breath.

"No I'm sorry, T. You don't need to apologize, nothing's your fault." I approached him. There was a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. "I'm glad we ran into each other. If I'm being honest, I feel like its exactly what I needed. I haven't really been feeling all that great these past few days..."I explained placing an arm on his shoulder, meeting his gaze. He didn't speak, but nodded slowly.

"Do you... have feelings for him?" He asked cautiously. Did I? I wasn't even sure of that myself. "I'm...not sure, I guess. We haven't known each other for very long." And that was not a lie. He nodded again.

"Well I guess I should go now. It was really nice to see you, Angel." That look never really left his eyes, and before I even had the chance to say goodbye he was out the door. Slightly put off, I tried my best to let it go. That's the way he was gonna leave? Not that I needed a kiss goodbye or anything, but rushing out like that? I guess seeing Martin really did bother him more than he was letting on.

What a shit show, a great way to start the day. I slung my bag over my shoulder and made my way out to the van.

The guys were all waiting there for me, and Martin was already in the drivers seat. Great, looks like the awkwardness was destined to continue. The ride to Cologne was very, very long. Martin and Pär divided the driving time, arriving to our destination a little after one thirty. Settling into yet another new room, I knew I needed to talk to Martin. It had been put off long enough, and after this morning, well, it surely couldn't get much worse than that.

Hoping he'd have time before set up, I thankfully seen him head in his room so I knew exactly which one it was. I knocked on his door lightly, a few seconds pass before he opened the door. Our eyes met, and he moved to the side, silently telling me to come in. Well, at least he didn't slam the door in my face. I made my way inside.

Then, I thought for a minute. Why am I the worried one? I did nothing wrong. My relationship with Tobias was none of his business, and its definitely not like I was fucking dating him either.

He led me over to a table by the giant window that looked over the beautiful city of Cologne. The sun was shining bright through the curtains, casting a warm, natural glow into the room. I sat down, and he placed a cup of steaming cup of coffee in front of me. I guess he was expecting me.

"So, you and Tobias." It was not a question, more a statement. His eyes never left his own mug.

"I'm sorry I never told you about my time with Ghost." I began, wrapping my hands around my hot cup. "I was unsure of how it ended for you and I didn't want to bring up any hardships." My voice was steady. He said nothing, eyes still not meeting mine, but mine never left his.

"I don't care about who you work with. I care that you didn't think to tell me you were fucking one of my best friends. I'm sure you knew about me and Ghost." He paused, my gaze turning into a glare. "I guess you and Niels did know something that I didn't after all." What the fuck? I was quick to respond.

"Niels doesn't know anything about my relationship with Tobias. He knew I was a crew member, and that's it." I defended, in a neutral tone. I wasn't going to lose my chill. Not today.

"Is that something you do with everyone you work with?" My jaw nearly hit the floor. He seemed to regret those words as soon as they left his mouth, eyes darting to mine and his face softening. He was about to speak again, but I held a hand up to silence him. Now, now I was ready to fucking rumble.

" _Excuse me?_ " How _dare_ he? Who the fuck does he think he is? I guess I was losing my chill today. "You know, you kissed me too. I thought it meant something. Then you run away and act like I'm the bane of your existence for days and then I have to find out, from other people, that you have a _girlfriend?_ " I did not need this shit. I had been holding back for days, and now I was ready to let it all out.

He was quiet, so I continued. "You know, I could be fucking wrong, but my relationship with Tobias is none of your business. But you know what is my business? When I'm practically led on by a taken man. Why did you do it, Martin? That's why we're here, isn't it?" He sighed, yet remained quiet. It was a long, passing silence until he spoke.

"Because I like you." I huffed, crossing my arms as I turned my head to glare out the window. Rich. "Angel, I'm sorry for not telling you about Julie. It's...complicated, between me and her. We were together for 6 years." I beckoned him to continue.

"Go on." I took a sip of my coffee.

"When we first started seeing each other, it was...good. At least, I thought it was. About two years into our relationship I found her in bed with someone else." My brows shot up in surprise, I was not expecting that. I felt a twinge of guilt rise within me. "She begged me to stay with her, and I did for awhile, but it just wasn't the same. We separated, then found each other again and decided to start fresh. But I always seem to put my faith in the wrong people." He paused again. "Some people just don't change."

I stayed quiet, not quite sure of what to say at this new found information, taking some time to process.

"I stayed with her. Even though I shouldn't have. I thought I loved her, but..." He paused for a moment, eyes finally meeting mine. "I don't."

"And what makes you think that _now?_ " The sun was shining in his eyes, and he was squinting a bit.

"Because I wouldn't have wanted to kiss you if I did." Silence. I really should have listened to his side of the story first. I silently cursed myself. Why did I always need to react so poorly to things when I'm upset? Fuck. He continued once more.

"Six months ago, my friend comes to me, claiming she tried to make a move on him at a party. I confronted her about it, she ended up turning it on me, blaming it on trust issues but..."I stared at him.

"But you didn't believe her." I finished for him, and he nodded. I felt awful. He truly looked defeated.

"What happened with Ghost was...Devastating. We were all family, brothers. And then things happened. I needed to leave the band. It hurt, and it seemed like I lost everything. I felt like Julia was the only thing I had left to hold on to, that I just couldn't lose. It was a bad time for me." Okay, so obviously seeing Tobias with me this morning was very not good for Martin. Here comes that aching feeling in my chest.

"I officially ended things with her, yesterday. For good." I still sat quiet, listening. "I didn't tell anyone about what happened six months ago, kept it to myself. The guys knew things were...rough, but not many details as to why. I guess I'm just a sensitive person and don't like to burden my problems on to other people." Somebody come give this man a hug? I felt like I was almost frozen in place, sort of in shock. So the guys didn't even know the half of it... It was my turn to speak.

"The way you left. It...It hurt. There was a lot of things running through my mind, if I was a bad kisser, or if you felt forced to. But not once had my mind wandered to the thought of something negative about you." He sighed.

"Even though it was so bad between us, I just... we were still technically together, and I just felt guilty. I'm a loyal man, despite what you might think now. I know what it feels like to be hurt in that way, I don't ever want someone else to feel like that because of me." I felt awful.

"I'm sorry for all of the...confusion, Angel. I really am. I know I shouldn't have kissed you...but for once I just wanted to go with my gut feeling. And you are right. I wanted to kiss you." His eyes met mine again. "And it really was a great kiss. I've thought about it a lot, maybe too much." I wanted nothing more than to just reach over the table and kiss him again.

But I wasn't going to.

He continued. "I'm also sorry for the way I've treated you the past few days. It isn't okay. I have a bad habit of shutting off whenever I get stressed. I really did want to talk to you, but I guess my fear got in the way of that. But that's no excuse. I really am sorry." I could literally cry. Somebody just let me hold the fucker.

"I understand." Was all I could muster up for the next few seconds. It was quiet for a while, until I found the right words to say.

"I'm sorry about telling Niels before I had the chance to properly speak to you. The way it happened, I was just very shocked. And drunk. He let me cry to him, and he was worried, so I owed him an explanation. But I wish I could take it back and have spoken to you first. I tend to do stupid shit and act pretty impulsively when I'm upset."

"You're not the one who needs to apologize. I deserved it." I shook my head, and placed a hand on his bicep. It was very muscly.

"Please don't be so hard on yourself, Martin. I guess we both could've handled things a little better." He chuckled, and nodded. Speaking for the both of us, hopefully, I continued.

"I think we should just forget that this ever happened. Put it in the past, and move forward. There's only three days left of the tour, you shouldn't be upset, you should be happy. You deserve it." I smiled graciously. He smiled back to me. We were engulfed by a comfortable silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other's presence. I could tell he wanted to say something, probably about Tobias but he thought against it. Now was no longer the time. The air had lifted, and for the first time in a few days it wasn't awkward, nor negative between the two of us. We were interrupted by a knock. I removed my hand and he made his way to the door. I couldn't see him, but I knew the voice as Niels, sounding somewhat frantic.

"Have you seen or heard from Angel? She's not answering her phone and she's not in her room, did she not get here last night? Did she-" He stopped speaking when Martin moved slightly out of the way to reveal me sitting at the table. Grinning sheepishly, I waved.

"Oh!" A look of surprise adorned his features.

"Sorry , I did leave my phone in my room." I giggled, getting up to walk over to the two men.

"You scared me. I thought you were kidnapped or something. I can't believe you just left without saying bye last night! One of us would have walked you back at least." I shook my head.

"Don't worry, I'm alive." I smiled. And I left with someone I did not want anyone to know about, but clearly that didn't go according to plan. Martin seemed to put two and two together, brows furrowing slightly. Damn.

"Alright well, hurry up guys we gotta go!" He ran off. I chuckled.

"He's too much sometimes." He nodded in agreement.

The band played and amazing show at the Luxor, an underground rock nightclub. The place was jam packed, making it kind of stuffy inside and difficult to maneuver around the crowds. Tonight just wasn't a good night for photos, can't win em all. They weren't awful, just weren't the best.

The next day came and we were on our way to Paris. I had been to Paris once before, when I was working with Jack White about a year an a half ago,a few months after In Flames. We didn't have much time for any exploring as it was a much tighter schedule then, and I planned on taking a walk around today. I was looking forward to it and even managed to get the guys to leave an hour earlier, seven instead of eight, so I'd have more time to sight see. The whole way there I was giddy with excitement and refreshed, the vibes had definitely shifted, leaving the rest of the guys more at ease as well.

"What was it like working with Jack? He's rock royalty, that's amazing." Pär asked, I smiled. I loved getting asked about my time with him.

"He really is! White Stripes were one of the first bands that really got me interested in the whole rock scene. I owned all their CD's then eventually just bought all the vinyl's when I started to collect." I explained. "I have so many cool exclusives also, that he just gave to me. The guy is a fucking rock star, dude." I spoke excitedly.

"Working with him, well, he's quiet, but loud at the same time. We got on well, it was an amazing learning opportunity for me. He was very kind to me. He doesn't use setlists and I think that's the coolest thing, every night was a different show. He's very...particular about the way things go about, though. The whole nine yards from production, to sound, to look. I had specific places he wanted me to be at every show. But everything always turned out perfect. He's a genius." I gushed.

"I remember the Stripes being very color coordinated, that was sick." Niels chimed.

"He still is, even with his solo work. Nothing but blue, black white. Its so cool. The last stop on the tour was a bar in Nashville, and he took me on a private tour of Third Man studios. I cried." And I actually did.

"Oh my God." Martin laughed from the drivers seat, probably due to secondhand embarrassment.

"Look around, Angel, notice anything yet?" Niels spoke, changing the subject quickly. Better be important if I was jut talking about Jack Fucking White. I looked out the window to faintly see the Eiffel Tower. A massive smile spread its way to my lips. The guys laughed. Okay, I'll let it go this time.

Our hotel was amazing, Louvre Saint-Honoré. Very modern, city central and had beautiful french doors that led out to a terrace, with lots of big windows I could see the Tower from my bed. I had a large queen size bed, and there was a massive fireplace the corner of the room, a love seat to the left of it. It was now a little after one in the afternoon, so that left me with over three hours to explore the streets of Paris.

The guys left for Les Étoiles early, to set up everything earlier and we all planned on having a nice dinner at a restaurant of my choice. It was sweet of them. I spent the next ten minutes on the terrace, smoking and googling the restaurants near me. I decided on a place called Le Gabriel, as it was very elegant but prices were reasonable. I made our reservation for five, and I was so excited.

The hotel was close to the museum, although I didn't want to spend so much time inside one building, I instead found myself taking shots of the Arc de Triomphe, then to Place de la Concorde. I passed by Moulin Rouge and admired the beautiful building from the outside. Passing by a cafe I grabbed myself a drink and made my way to Luxembourg Gardens. The sun was out, and I took a pleasant walk, surrounded by beautiful scenery, it was a lovely afternoon. I made my way back to the hotel around four to get myself ready for dinner. I wanted to wear something a little nicer and I knew the guys brought extra clothes to change into as well.

I picked the dress I bought myself in Berlin. It was a black, deep plunge v neck, very form fitting around the body but with big bishop sleeves. The length met my calves and I wore a pair of black high heeled sandals. I decided to do some soft curls, and put on some light makeup. A little bit of blush, and a dusty rose color for my lids. I plumped my lips with just a little bit of lipstick, a natural looking color to just make my lips look a little fuller. When I was satisfied, I looked my self over in the mirror.

I looked top of the fucking notch, if I do say so myself. I was just cleaning up when there was a knock at the door. Frowning, I wondered who it could be. We agreed to just meet at the restaurant, as I texted Niels the details about the reservation. Maybe someone finally had enough of my obnoxious death metal. I didn't think it was that loud, but maybe it was. Turning it down, I made my way to the door. Without peeking through the whole, I opened the door to reveal Martin. Our eyes met and his widened, looking me up and down, very slowly not saying a word. I took my time to do the same, and he looked fantastic. Dark fitted pants with a black dress top. I couldn't wait to get a view of the back, I could just imagine what his butt looked like in these pants. His hair was done, swooped to the side and he smelt good.

"Hey, Martin. Look at you all done up," I teased lightly, "you look great." I smiled softly. He swallowed hard.

"You...You look wonderful." was all that came out. I giggled.

"What are you doing here? I thought we were supposed to meet up." I questioned, motioning for him to come in. "I just need to grab my purse." He was still quiet for a moment, and I knew he was checking me out from behind as I made my way, a little bit slower than needed, to reach my purse that lay on the love seat.

"Oh, uh, I actually forgot my dress shoes." He spoke timidly. He quickly averted his gaze once I turned around.

"Oh! I see, and are the rest of the guys here?" He shook his head.

"No, they were getting ready when I left. They said they'd be fine to walk, the place isn't far from the venue." He explained and I nodded. "I figured I'd pop in to see if you've left yet, and then I heard the music from my room so I knew you were here." He chuckled. "You can get in with me instead of taking a taxi."

I then remembered that, indeed, his room was next door.

"Okay." I smiled up at him. He really was a friendly giant. I was more than happy that everything seemed to blow over, making things normal again. We made our way out to the parked van, him being the upmost gentleman the whole way, helping me into the van and helping me out of it. Not that I needed him to, but I'd never been treated this way before and it was very kind. I missed him.

Martin led me inside, a hand placed lightly on my lower back. The photos of the restaurant did it no justice. It was beautiful inside, almost all white, and looked very classy. Speaking to the hostess, the reservation under my name, she led us to our table. The guys had just arrived, still settling in. Their eyes widened.

"Holy fuck you clean up nice!" Niels spoke, not making any effort to hide the way he was looking at me. Mother fucker. I smacked his arm.

"Watch it buddy." I joked, eliciting laughs from the whole table.

Arvid was already stood, taking my hand and kissing it gently. This guy would make some lucky lady very very happy one day.

"You look beautiful." Aw, what a sweetheart.

"Thank you, Arvid." I laughed.

"Looking good, as always." Pär smiled gently, and I thanked him.

"You know, I'm here too right? Don't I look good?" Martin joked, as he pulled out my seat for me. I giggled.

"Oh yes, Martin. You look so sexy, come here!" Niels cackled, making kissy faces at his friend. I placed a hand on my forehead fighting off a smile. Martin took the empty seat next to me.

The drinks were amazing, the food was astounding as well as the service. Many laughs and drinks (and some good dessert) later it was time for us to head out. I needed to stop back at the hotel to change, Niels offering to drive, stating that he needed to grab something from his room.

"So I see you and Martin have talked it out? Everything okay?" We were heading toward the elevator. I nodded.

"Yeah, we did. I now understand what you meant when you said complicated. I feel bad for him." I met his gaze and he nodded in agreement.

"That whole time was bad for him. With Ghost, they were all so close, best of friends. Its a shame, really. It was Tobias' idea to put Magna to rest, and start the new Ghost adventure. I really wish things had went differently." My brows raised in shock.

"Wait, T was in Magna at one point?" His eyes darting to me, a look of confusion finding its way upon his features. "Sorry, Tobias. Force of habit." He nodded to my question, staying quiet. Huh, well I'll be damned.

"Martin asked me an odd question yesterday." He stated. I waited silently for him to continue.

"He asked me if I knew you worked with Ghost when I hired you." Oh.

"Oh?" He nodded. "You obviously did, right? There's photos all over my Instagram." He nodded again.

"It was just a weird question to get so early in the morning. He looked...put off, but didn't really give me anything to go on." Of course he was upset, he just found out I had been fucking his old best friend.

"Weird." Was all I said. I could tell he wanted to press the subject, but could tell now wasn't the time. I wasn't going to open that can of worms with Niels today.

We made our way into our rooms, I changed into some everyday attire. Black high waist jeans and black knit cropped sweater. I kept the heals on, I liked being taller. We met back in the lobby and soon found ourselves at the venue.

Les Étoiles was a lovely place, and the sound was amazing. They played again to another full house, spending lots of time after the show meeting fans. I waited patiently backstage with a drink as fished through some photos. My mind wandered to the days events, and then to Tobias. Why did he leave like that? Was he upset with me that I didn't tell him about Martin? I tried to shake the thoughts, but I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. Who knows when the next time I'll even see him is. Although, I said that last time too.

I took the last sip of my drink when the guys came wandering in backstage. They looked tuckered, and we just decided to retreat to our rooms for the night.

I had been laying in bed for the past half hour trying to fall asleep, but my mind just wouldn't shut off. I left the curtains open, the Paris nightlife casting a faint glow in the room as I stared out to the beautiful Tower. The view truly was breathtaking. I laughed to myself quietly as I thought about how boujie I felt. A beautiful hotel in Paris, sleeping in an off white silk nightgown.

Maybe a cigarette would help. Sighing, I made my way out of bed, grabbing my lighter and smokes from the nightstand. Opening the french doors to the terrace, there was a slight breeze, but it was a warm one. I lit my smoke, walking over to the edge of the railing. Looking out, I could see the Notre Dame cathedral as well.

Halfway through my smoke, a voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Can't sleep either?" Surprised, I whipped my head over to find Martin sitting on his balcony. How ironic. He sat on the chair with a book in hand, cigarette lit and his ankles crossed.

I shook my head, taking another long drag of my smoke.

"How long have you been there?" I asked, I didn't see him when I came out, but I guess I didn't really go looking either. He stayed quiet, looking out at the view, shrugging his shoulders lightly.

"A while." Was all he said. My eyes left his for a brief moment to admire the skyline as well, until I answered his question.

"No. I can't sleep either." He set his book down, crushing his cigarette in the ashtray and stood. He slowly made his way over closer to my terrace, and he leaned over, resting his arms on his railing.

"Anything on your mind?" His accent rang thick, and I looked over to him. I shrugged, staying quiet. I put out my smoke and walked to where he was standing, leaning over my railing as well. We were close enough, if I reached out I could probably touch his face.

"Anything on _your_ mind?" I repeated the same question he had asked me. Looking down, I noticed how high up we were.

"Just you." My eyes shot up to meet his, small smile playing at his lips. Oh.

"Well, I hope I don't keep you up all night. You do need some rest." I grinned softly.

"It would be worth it." Fucking hell. Engulfed by silence, I let my eyes wander his frame. He was wearing a dark blue fitted t-shirt and black pajama pants with smiley faces on them.

"Nice pj's." I teased. He chuckled.

"I could say the same to you." There was a light breeze that made its way to us, and I shivered. My nipples hardened and I'm sure it was obvious. I suddenly felt very exposed. I didn't speak.

"I wish I got to you before he did." His words hung in the air. Who? I rose a brow.

"What do you mean? Who?"

"Tobias. He's a lucky man. Always was." I could've laughed, but I didn't. This was something clearly eating away at him, and I couldn't make him feel worse. I guess I didn't really explain our relationship to him that morning. Is this what he had been thinking the past couple of days? That me and T were anything more than just fuck buddies? I mean, could I even call him that? We had spent many, many nights together on tour, but meeting in Berlin was a one in a million chance. What did that mean? I needed to shut myself up. Now, I was beginning to confuse myself.

"Martin, Tobias and I are not an item, or anything of that sort, if that's what you're implying. And we never will be." I wanted to make myself clear. What I felt when I kissed T, is nothing like how I felt when I kissed Martin. There was something there, and I couldn't deny it. I guess I did have feelings for him. Would I act on them? Probably not. Would I tell him? Maybe.

"So you guys just...fuck?" Shrugging, I nodded.

"It was a hard time for both of us." I explained, "He was divorcing his wife, I was finally giving the boot to my fiancee. I felt like we were exactly what we both needed. A healthy way to let out our emotions. But it was never anything more than just sex." He was quiet, eyes averted to the ground, but nodding regardless.

"I'm sorry, I know its none of my business, I jus-" I silenced him.

"Don't be sorry. Its okay." I wanted to reassure him as much as I could. He was quiet for a few seconds.

"Was it...how did you run into him? In Berlin, of all places?" Shaking my head, I laughed.

"I have absolutely no fucking idea. One minute I was in a record store, next I'm having lunch with a friend I never thought I'd see again. At least, not till next year."

"Next year?" He quirked. I nodded, averting my gaze slightly. I didn't know if I was even able to tell Martin about the tour, but I decided to anyway. I didn't think it mattered too much.

"Yeah, he's taking the year off to record the new album, then to tour again later next year." I explained. He nodded.

"Ah. So you'll be working with them again?"

"Yes." I cringed internally. I really didn't want to hurt him anymore than I already probably did, but I didn't want to lie to him either. Who knows what the future holds for me, or him, or even Tobias. Would I see Martin again? I would be going back to Canada in three days. Would we keep in touch? Would we say we will, and just don't? Would I hear from Tobias before some time next year? What about Niels, and the rest of the guys? I tried not to think so much, it was making me sad.

"You know, I'm gonna miss you guys. When I'm back home. I guess that's whats been keeping me up." I decided to be partially honest with him, but it was late, and I knew we shouldn't be up for much longer. Some things would just have to wait. Looking back, to find him already looking over at me.

"We're going to miss you too." He smiled. I loved his smile. And his eyes. And his nose. And his eyebrows, especially the brows. His shoulders, his hands.

I guess I had it worse than I thought.

What the fuck was I going to do?


	8. Tea and Gardens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin takes Angel on an excursion in Leiden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone else listened to Niels' solo work? Very underrated artist in my opinion. Check it out! I suggest the album "Atvid". Been on repeat for me the past few days.

The next morning, I had to say goodbye to Paris. We were on our way to Leiden now, and the boys were set to play at Gebr de Nobel, the largest venue for this tour. After today, there would be only one stop left, then I'd be on a flight back to Canada. I tried my best not to think about it, and it was a foreign feeling to me. I was not used to getting attached to the people I worked with, but for some reason this time around was hard. What was it with these Swedish men?

I thought about last night. Or this morning, I suppose, our terrace talk. Part of me hoped he would've just hopped over to my side and we could have fucked till dawn, but wishes come true very seldomly. I can't say I didn't touch myself to that thought before actually going to sleep.

Sorry not sorry.

Our hotel was once again top notch, Ibis Leiden Centre, and we were city central. Surrounded by loads of attractions, I looked out my window and thought about where I would go this afternoon. I layed on my bed, googling places to visit, as I didn't really even know what there was around here. I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Probably Niels, telling me they were heading to set up for the show.

But it was not Niels, it was Martin. I smiled.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" A faint grin play on his lips. 

"I would like to take you out. I hope you don't have anything planned already." I rose a brow.

"And if I did?" Just wanted to pull his leg a little. 

"Well, your plans are changed now." I snorted. Well I guess he won this time. 

"Okay, M. Just let me grab my purse." He stood patiently. He wore a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans, and he looked really good. But I guess he always looked good. He had some stubble coming in, and it made him look very handsome. Not that he wasn't handsome all the time, but I did love some stubble.

"So where are we headed? I met him back at the door, letting it shut softly. He smirked.

"Its a surprise." I was one of those rare people that did enjoy surprises. It was kind, thrilling, and heartfelt. It didn't happen to me often, so it was exciting. But I kept my composure.

"Oh? Well then." I hummed. "If I had any idea of anything around here, I would try and guess. But I don't." He laughed.

"I have some places in mind, planned most of it out last night when you went to bed." Hah, after he thinks I went to bed. Shaking those thoughts, I couldn't find the smile, my face becoming a little warm. This is what he was doing while I was literally masturbating to the thought of him fucking me? My goodness.

I averted my mind, wondering why he wasn't setting up the show with the rest of the guys.

"What about set up? And sound check?" I questioned as we stepped outside. We seemed to be lucky with weather this tour. Only once had it rained wherever we were. The sun was shining once again, and it was quite warm. MY black t-shirt dress that flowed just above my knees was enough, I didn't even need my jean jacket. I put my shades on, and he followed suit. 

"They're big boys, they can do that without me." We stood outside our hotel for a moment, both of us lighting a cigarette. "They encouraged the idea this morning when I brought it up." I nodded. He continued again.

"I just have one question for you, before we go." He turned to me, serious look on his face. My smile fell, and now I was slightly worried. What now? He put his hands on either sides of my arms. 

"...Coffee or tea?"

Fucker. Rolling my eyes, and letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding I flipped him off. 

"Tea!" I replied, nearly jumping with joy. He laughed, knowing he got me with that one. We walked along the streets of Leiden, side by side. Our arms kept brushing together a few times and part of me wanted to take his hand, but I didn't.

"Now I've never been to a place like this before, but I think its going to be pretty cool. Have you ever bought loose leaf tea before?" I laughed, louder than I needed to that's for sure. I nodded.

"Yes, yes I have. Its actually what I used to do before my photography really kicked off. I worked for a loose leaf tea company based outside of Toronto." I grinned. His brows rose.

"Really? So that's what started the tea lover in you?" I nodded again, excitedly.

"Yes. I do know my fair share about tea. I think I have more tea than vinyl at home, and that's saying something." I laughed.

He stopped me in front of a cute shop, the words Clovereaf plastered on the door. Opening it for me, it was literally heaven. Much nicer than the place I worked for, this place was filled with antique looking tea pots and cups, mugs and all your loose leaf tea needs. Behind the counter, there were many options to choose from.

We spent about a half hour, smelling all sorts of teas, and I ended up buying quite a bit for me and my friends at home that I knew would love some. Martin seemed impressed with my tea knowledge, as well as the man working the counter. I was able to explain the different processes of different types of tea, and I think I blew his mind when I told him all teas come from the same plant.

"So wait, black teas, white, green..."

"Yes, all come from the same plant." I finished for him. The look on his face was priceless.

"But...how? They all taste so different." The guy behind the counter laughing at Martin's expression.

"Well, white tea minimally processed and not oxidized, meaning it retains its natural antioxidants. Its basically the purest form of tea you can find. It's probably my favorite type of tea to drink, it's supposed to be really good for your skin." I started to explain, he looked very intrigued. 

"I thought green tea was the healthiest?" He looked confused now, and it made me giggle. 

"Green tea is oxidized, but not by much. Depending on where the tea is from, there's different ways of processing. Chinese green teas tend to be pan-fried and Japanese greens stick to steaming. It brings out more flavor, but reduces the natural antioxidants." I continued, and the guy behind the counter brought over one of each, allowing Martin to smell the difference between the two. His eyes widened.

"Wow, yeah you can really tell the difference!" He turned to me once again. "And black tea?" I smiled. 

"Black tea is fully fermented, so its very flavorful and full of tannins. They tend to have the most caffeine and the least antioxidants, because of how heavily processed they are." He nodded, lost in the thought of tea. He was very cute when he was concentrated on something. 

"Pu'erh tea is essentially just black tea that's fermented in caves for years. at a time. It almost tastes damp." I made a face. "Flavored ones aren't so bad, but most traditional Pu'erhs aren't my favorite. They taste fishy to me." The guy behind the counter laughed, agreeing with me. Martin made a face of disgust, causing me to laugh as well. He observed the wall for another second, and pointed.

"And what about... rooeebos?" I giggled at the way he pronounced that one. It was adorable.

"Rooibos," I corrected him, and he smiled sheepishly and repeated it to correct himself. "is made from a different plant, actually, from South Africa. There's two types, red and green," the guy brought down two traditional blends of red and green rooibos for Martin to sniff. "They're prepared like black tea but without caffeine. Green is un-oxidized, and red is oxidized."

"This is so cool. I definitely want some of this one to try, it smells like heaven." He clicked the green rooibos tin with his index finger, and the friendly worker scooped up a good fifty grams for him to take.

"Maté is cool, the caffeine levels are similar to coffee, but its more of a healthy stimulant, so no jitters and no crash."

"No jitters and no crash? Dammit, I'm in." I laughed as the guy brought down a few blends of maté's for him to smell. He chose a rather tarte blend, full of hibiscus.

"It smells very fruity." He grinned. I think he was having more fun than he thought he would at this place. I grabbed a few different blends, I really enjoyed traditional teas, raw in flavor. Floral's were my all time favorite, especially lavender and rose. If I was to grab something fruity, I much preferred it iced.

We left a while later, Martin looking like a kid right out of a candy store. We each had a bag, Martin insisting on carrying mine, and a fruity iced tea on the go. I couldn't help but giggle at him.

"That was so cool, you're going to have to show me how to properly do this. I've never done it before. The guy said they could burn, I don't want to do that." He really looked scared about burning his tea. He was funny. I nodded.

"Don't worry, I won't let you." I nudged his arm lightly.

"So whats the plan now?" I asked. Looking at the clock, it was a little after three, so we still had a good amount of time before the show.

"Well, we'll be passing the hotel again so I'll drop this stuff off quickly and we can go from there." I nodded, enjoying the last few sips of my tea. Martin finished his almost as soon as he got it, I guess he was a fast drinker. He must have really enjoyed it. 

I waited patiently outside for him, smoking a cigarette. I smiled to myself, thinking about how much fun today was turning out to be. I was kind of glad I didn't have to spend it alone, but at the same time I knew the more time I spent with Martin the worse it would hurt when the tour was over. The smile left my face, and I felt the sadness well in the pit of my stomach.

"You okay, love?" Martin startled me, and I jumped slightly. Why the fuck did he always need to do that?

"Sorry." He apologized, nearly reading my mind. I shook my head.

"You gotta stop doing that, I'll have died of a heart attack before the tour is over." I joked, a hand placed on my heart. "I'm fine, though. Shall we?" I started walking, and we soon well into a comfortable silence as he led the way to our next destination. My stomach grumbled quite loudly, my face flushed. He chuckled.

"Good." Was all he said.

We arrived in front of a cute looking bakery called Mamie Gourmande. I could smell the delicious pastries from outside, my mouth watering. I really was hungry.

"Niels suggested this place for us, its his favorite bakery around here. I promised I'd bring him some banketstaaf."

"Some _what?_ What the _fuck_ is a bunkesaft?" He burst with laughter.

"Banketstaaf," He corrected and continued "Its a dutch pastry log with almond paste. They're not my go-to, but Niels loves them." He was still snickering. I nodded. Niels was bizarre.

I observed the pastries, so many colors, shapes and flavors. Everything looked so aesthetically pleasing. Martin came over and placed a hand on my back.

"Come on, now, we need lunch before dessert, love." I rolled my eyes and huffed.

I decided on a what was I guess, called a broodje kroket. A deep fried meat ragout croquette on a soft bun, with a buttered roll on the side. For dessert, Martin suggested a bossche bol. A Dutch specialty, chocolate coated and whipped cream filled pastry. The thing was fucking massive, and came with a fork and knife. It seemed like it was much needed, the dessert looked divine.

Looking around the bakery, I noticed there was only three tables, as the place wasn't very big, and they were all taken.

"Where are we gonna sit? The tables are all taken." I grew slightly worried, not wanting to have to sit on the pavement to eat lunch. He shook his head, mischievous smile playing at his lips.

"We weren't going to eat here anyway." Oh? This fucker had all sorts of things up his sleeve today, and it was very exciting. I tried to fight the smile, again, but it didn't work very well.

"Okay."

Getting our food in to-go containers, the nice lady slid them in a carry on bag and we soon found ourselves walking the streets of Leiden.

He carried our plates, and we made conversation about films on our way to our next destination. He was speaking of a Swedish movie that he really enjoyed when he stopped.

"We're here." He smiled, looking up at the giant greenhouse. I could faintly see the insides, filled with colorful tulips and so many greens. It was stunning. Where the hell were we? As if reading my mind, again, he answered my unasked question.

"Hortus Botanicus. I've always heard of this place, but never been. Its one of the oldest botanical gardens in the world. You said you liked flowers and gardens, so I thought this would be nice." He lifted his shoulders lightly, my mouth still agape at the scenery.

"This is...wow." Was all I could say. There was beautiful pathways all around outside the greenhouse, and he led me over to a vacant table. We were beside a large lilac tree. It smelled so good and looked so breathtaking. I was at a loss for words.

We ate our food, mostly in silence and it was delicious, both enjoying the sounds of nature. I didn't know exactly what I was eating, but it tasted good at least. We were on dessert now, and he wouldn't stop laughing at how messy my dessert was. My face red, I tried my best to not be so sloppy but it just wasn't working out.

"You did this on purpose." I accused. "You set me up for this!" Laughing even more, he shook his head innocently.

"I swear I didn't." The tone in his voice said otherwise. Honestly, whatever. This dessert tasted like heaven.

After we were done eating, we walked the through the outdoor pathways, then into the actual greenhouse. Birds were chirping, and we walked along, reading the signs and learning of all sorts of different plants and flowers. Every once in a while his hand would rest lightly at the bottom of my back, but it never stayed long. I wished it would. Sneaking glances at his hands every once in a while, they looked big, like they could keep my tiny ones nice and cozy.

Man, I needed to get a grip.

He was in the middle of attempting to teach me a bit of Swedish when my phone started to ring. Looking at the caller ID, it was Niels. I frowned. Why was he calling me and not Martin? We looked at each other and both shrugged. I picked up.

"Hey man, whats up?"

"Hey! I tried calling Martin but he didn't pick up. You guys having fun?" He happily chimed from the other end. Smiling, I looked to Martin who's eyes were already on me.

"Yeah, we're having a great time. What about you guys? How's it going down there?"

"Its going good! We're all set up, soundcheck was good. Just calling to make sure you two don't lose track of time." He spoke playfully. If he was in front of me I would have smacked his arm.

"Shut up, Niels." I laughed, earning one from Martin as well. "I'll have your rock star there on time, don't worry." I could hear him chuckling.

"Okay, Angel. Thanks! See you guys soon." We ended the call. Looking at my phone, it was almost six.

"We should probably start heading back. What do you think?" I asked, slipping my phone back into the pocket of my jeans. He nodded in agreement.

We returned to my Swedish learning until we made it to the venue. We walked there, as we weren't super pressed for time and it wasn't very far. Martin was stopped by a few fans before we got too close. I let him do his thing, taking Niels' desserts from him and made my way inside the venue. I greeted the guys, who all had beers in their hands, earpieces in and ready to go. I decided to put my newfound Swedish skills to the test. Walking in, I obnoxiously cleared my throat. Their eyes all met mine. 

"Hej, killar!*" There eyes widened and they all burst out laughing. 

"Hej Ängel! Hur var ditt datum med Martin?**" The guys snickered, and Niels winked. I stood for a moment, trying to process what was just said. 

Safe to say, I had no fucking clue. But regardless, I already had my comeback. 

"Dra åt helvete.***" The guys beginning to laugh again. The first thing I asked for was the swear words. 

"Where's Martin?" Pär asked, getting up from his seat to grab another beer, still slightly giggling.

"He's outside talking to a few fans." I smiled. He came over to me, handing me the beer. Okay, guess it was for me. I was thirsty.

"We brought your gear inside already, its by the table there." Arvid spoke kindly, pointing to the table where my bags sat. I smiled gratefully.

"Thank you!"

"Hey, whats that?" Niels pointing to the bag I was carrying. Huh, I almost forgot. 

"Oh! I got your bunkerstaffs!" I grinned excitedly, rushing over to give him his pastries. The look on his face was priceless, and the guys once again were in fits.

"My _fucking_ _what?_ " He looked incredulously at me, then opening the bag to reveal his pastries. He lost his shit for a few minutes. I rolled my eyes, it was a hard name to remember for a dessert that didn't even look that good!

Grabbing my camera, I was in a very good mood, smile not leaving my face. There were a few snickers and my head lifted, meeting the looks of all the boys. Raising a brow, my face beginning to feel hot.

"What?" I asked nonchalantly, although I knew I could probably guess.

"You seem...happy." Niels grinned from his spot by the curtain.

"And...?" I beckoned him to continue, earning a shrug from him and the rest of the guys.

"Just an observation." He smiled innocently. I narrowed my eyes. Thankfully, at that moment Martin walked in, greeting everyone. I made my way over to Niels, to have a look out the curtains. I didn't really get to see what the actual stage looked like, since I wasn't here all day. It was definitely the biggest place they've played, and there was two upper levels as well. I smiled. Today was going to be a good one.

And it was. Perfect sound, lighting, the fans had fun and the place was jam packed. I was proud. I got lots of cool photos, even some from side stage as well. 

They did there thing with the fans, while I stayed back for a few drinks backstage like normal. It was close to eleven and I wondered if we were just going to go back to the hotel or go to a bar for some drinks. When the guys got backstage, Niels brought up the idea of heading to his room for drinks as he had found some card games we could all play. We were all down for that, it would be nice to have a couple of drinks not at a bar. I helped the guys pack there gear back in the van and about an hour later we were back at the hotel.

"I'm just gonna go put on some comfier clothes, I'll meet you all there!" They all nodded, they were going to do the same.

"Will it be that pretty silk nightgown?" Martin spoke lowly, winking, and I smacked his arm lightly.

"Fuck off." He laughed, retreating to his own room that was down the hall. I just put on a pair of black gym shorts with a white shirt, and did not bother to put shoes on before walking in my fuzzy socks down to Niels' quarters. Knocking lightly, it didn't take long for Pär to open the door.

He wasn't kidding when he said his room had a bunch of games, how odd. I noticed mine had some too, but not this many. I took a seat next to him, looking around to notice Martin hadn't arrived yet.

"So what are we starting with? I piped up. Arvid handed me a drink, and upon the first sip it was most definitely vodka. I thanked him, and he found his place on the floor opposite of me. Soon after, Martin made his appearance, opting for a beer first instead of harder liquor. He occupied the spot on my other side.

"A good, ol' fashioned game of Cards Against Humanity." He grinned, pulling the box from his other side. I laughed, this would surely get interesting.

The game lasted a while, the answers ever so fucked up. This game was so funny, and I really was beginning to learn just how nasty these boys were. We were in tears by the end of it, and slightly tipsy. Once we were finished with that, we decided on some Pictionary.

My art skills were absolutely non-existent, and I knew they'd get a kick out of it. I guess drawing was not a Persner family skill, but Niels and Pär were actually very good! I came third last for points, the guys all making fun of my really awful drawing of a bus. Throwing my hands in the air dramatically I huffed.

"Well, I'm sorry I never went to school to be a fucking artist!" Niels was practically doubled over with laughter. I think this was the drunkest I'd seen him the whole tour.

The game of Pictionary was dying out, all of us laughing over different topics, when Niels looked over to me and Martin who sat closely together side by side. I guess we must've gotten closer as time went on, cause our knees were touching now and I surely would have noticed if he sat down this close to me in the first place. Niels wiggled his eye brows.

"So, did you two have fun today?" My face surely turning slightly pink, I rose a brow.

"Yes? Why do you ask, Niels?" I shot him a look, earning a mischievous smile and a shrug.

"Just wonderin'." I looked to Martin confused, who's face was slightly flushed as well as he shrugged his shoulders lightly, fighting off a smile.

I hope he had fun too.

It wasn't long before Arvid and Pär retreated to their quarters, and soon after the days events finally caught up to me. I bid Niels and Martin a farewell, the latter deciding last minute to head to bed as well. Niels did that thing with his eyebrows again and I could have punched him. But I didn't think my drunk swing would be that good.

I was little more tipsy than Martin when I asked him to come inside. To my surprise, he turned me down.

"We've both been drinking, love. I don't think it would be a good idea." I knew he was right, and no matter how much I thought about fucking him these past few days, if I was going to at all, I wanted to be completely sober. I shook my head. So I tried again.

"Just to talk, silly. Sit down with me, or lay down, whichever you prefer." I smiled lazily, wrapping both of my arms around one of his arms and hugging it tight. It was a nice arm, very muscly. He was so much bigger than me but I never felt intimidated, I felt safe. He chuckled, and thought for a moment longer.

"Well, I suppose that would be okay." I grinned.

"I'll even put on my silk nightgown for you, if you'd like." My words were teasing, and I felt is arm tense.

"No. I don't know if I'll be able to hold back if you do that." His voice was dark, and his accent thick. God dammit I loved his the sound of his voice.

Opening my door with ease for once, I led him inside and all but crashed on the bed. I heard him chuckle from the table. Ripping the comforter from the bed I snuggled under it, getting comfy. He shut off the big light, leaving only the dim light of the bedside lamp. He made his way over, and sat down on the edge of the bed. I snuggled deeper in to the covers, sighing of content.

"I'm not going to bite M, you can lay down." He looked slightly uncomfortable, so I patted above the thick covers. He hesitantly maneuvered, now half laying beside me on his back with his head resting upon the headboard. He rested the opposite hand behind his head. 

Our arms were slightly touching and I just enjoyed the comfortable silence. I felt like I could almost hear his heartbeat, but I knew that wasn't possible. I smiled to myself, content and happy tonight. 

I lazily turned over to my side to face him, his head turning my way and our eyes gazed to one another for a few moments. I knew exactly what happened last time we looked at each other like this, and no matter how bad I wanted to kiss him right now, I didn't. I fought that urge. Knowing looking into his eyes would only make it more difficult, I slowly leaned in, resting my head lightly on his chest. He was quick to wrap his giant arm around my tiny frame. Taking that as a sign of ok, I pressed the rest of my body against him, wrapping a leg around one of his. 

I fell asleep before I knew it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> * Hey, guys!  
> ** Hey Angel, how was your date with Martin?  
> ***Fuck off


	9. Museums, Pizzas and Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang spend their last day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Niels was cowbell ghoul. No matter how much he tries to deny it.

Feeling as though the bed had a pulse, I crack an eye open to take in my surroundings. I didn't remember falling asleep, but I did remember Martin laying down with me. Still tangled in his arms, in the same position. He was breathing softly and looked peaceful. I didn't want to wake him. Squinting at the clock on the nightstand, it was 6 in the morning. Thank god, I could still sleep for another hour. 

Unfortunately my arm was dead asleep, and I couldn't feel it at all, so I to slowly turned myself the other way around. Feeling me stir, he seemed to do the motions with me, wrapping his other arm around my waist. I smiled, knowing he was sleeping and couldn't see anyway. My face was probably beet red. He attempted to pull me even closer. I still couldn't get over how much size he had compared to me, his arms were literally wrapped all the way around me, and I felt so comforted by it.

I closed my eyes and attempted to fall back to sleep for another hour, but I just couldn't. Too aware of the fact that Martin and I were fucking spooning, I just layed there, eyes barely open enjoying the moment. 

Some time went by, and I shifted slightly, to get a little more comfortable when I felt something hard press against my ass. 

Eyes widening, I did not move a muscle.

Jesus fucking Christ it was HUGE. And very hard. I didn't think it was possible for my face to get any hotter, but it most definitely did. I didn't want to move, but there was obviously a spot on my thigh that just needed to be itchy right now. I carefully slid my leg back and forth on the bed, very slowly as to not wake him, hoping it would stop the itch at least a little bit. 

It sort of did. I think. I don't know, it slipped my mind when I felt Martin's arms tighten once more around me, and pressed his hips into me, his fingers gently squeezing my flesh. He let out a throaty moan in my ear, and if his mouth wasn't right against my ear I wouldn't have heard it.

Fucking. Hell. 

What was I supposed to do? I didn't know how much longer I could handle this, it was definitely doing things to me. I'd thought about this for days, and here he was, dead asleep his dick harder than all hell right up against me. I opted to just not move, until he woke up. No matter what. Just chill, that's all. Just. Chill.

Then, he started to slowly repeat the grinding motions against me, letting out deep groan once again. I almost squeaked, but held it back just enough.

Maybe I could just enjoy this? It felt good, and if this was the closest I would get to his cock then so be it. 

Some while later, he shifted again, but this felt slightly different. I was pretty sure he was waking up, and I panicked. Unsure if I should keep my eyes open or pretend to be asleep, I chose the latter, closing my eyes. God, was it hot in here? I felt him draw a sharp intake, and I gathered that yes, he indeed was awake. And now fully aware of his massive erection pressed against me. 

I almost cried when he slowly, but hesitantly started to pull away, trying not to wake me surely. He didn't leave the bed though, as I could feel it was still dipped, and I pictured him sitting up. He sat for a few minutes and just as I was about to roll over, he stood and walked to the washroom. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Okay, that happened. I think at this point my face was just permanently red. There was no going back now. And it was all because of Martin. 

While he was in the washroom I decided to peak at the clock. Six forty-eight. I lasted that long? I was impressed.

It had been a couple of minutes and he still wasn't out. Was I dreaming it all? Did he not even really stay here last night? If it wasn't for the faint smell of his cologne in the sheets I might have believed that. Sitting up slowly, I yawned, stretching my stiff limbs. I really did sleep like a baby, but that position was probably not great for my limbs. My arm still felt a little funny. Looking out to into the the streets of Leiden, I heard a faint noise coming from the washroom. I tried to quiet my thinking for a second...

No.

No, no, no.

I was hearing things, for sure. I heard it again.

I stayed dead quiet, eyes fixated on the bathroom door. There it was again.

Was he... _jacking off?_ I slapped my hand to my mouth, eyes growing wide. Oh My. God.

My face broke out in a grin.

Guess I wasn't the only one then. I bit my lip, wondering if I should just head on in there and finish him off. Would he go for that? Neither of us were drunk anymore, but I don't think I could stand the rejection if it were to come to that. I obviously spent too long thinking about it, because I didn't even notice the bathroom door open, even though I was staring right fucking at it.

We were both still, eyes locked. It felt like hours until he spoke up, clearing his throat.

"Good morning, love." This fucker. Clearing my thoughts, I smirked. 

"Morning, handsome." I let that one roll off my tongue, his eyes growing wide for a split second, and cheeks turning a light crimson. He cleared is throat again. 

"I-uh," He pointed to the restroom. "Just needed to pee." Good one, Martin. Good one. I snickered, nodding.

"Mhm, that's fine." I cocked my head to the side smiling. 

"How did you sleep?" He quickly averted his gaze, opting to sit on the couch instead of returning to his spot next to me. 

"Soundly. You?" I moved my way to the edge of the bed to get closer to him, my legs now dangling off the sides. Hotel bed were always super high up. Still wearing my very short, tight gym shorts from the night before, his eyes ran down my legs once, then back up to meet my own.

"Good." He nodded. "I hope I didn't wake you." 

"Oh, no, don't worry. You didn't. I was up for a while." His face contorted into a horrified expression and I grinned. Hehe. He stuttered.

"Uh, did y-I ho-" He was at a lost for words. I waited patiently, innocent smiling playing at my lips. 

"Yes?" I beckoned him to continue, he let out a breath, shooting me a look. He gave up his charade.

"Stop it." His face flushed, and I finally let out a string of giggles. 

"Aw, don't worry M, it's totally normal." He looked mortified. I slipped off the bed, heading towards the washroom, a sly grin playing at my lips. Time was ticking and I needed a shower. I left the door open as I was assuming he'd just leave, and if he didn't well, I would just tease him some more by taking my clothes off. I leaned over, turning on the faucet, still smirking to myself. Man it was exciting to tease him.

Or so I thought. 

I was suddenly very aware of a looming presence behind me, turning around quickly I was not expecting him to be that close and it startled me. My face only coming up to his chest, I had to strain my neck to look at his face. He could tell he caught me off guard and it was his turn to smirk, knowing exactly what he did.

"Sorry, did I startle you?" I would have mocked him if I wasn't very, very aware of how close he was to me again. I could feel the heat radiating off his body, he was towering over me. I swallowed.

"Nope." I lied. He chuckled.

"Okay, älskling." He was still smirking, seeing right through that one. Averting my eyes, I slipped passed him and made my way over to the counter top to give my hair a quick brush. 

"Will you be joining me this morning, Martin?" I grew bold enough to ask. Maybe I'd even allow him to if he said yes. 

Who was I kidding, of course I would.

I was looking at myself in the mirror as I brushed my strands, when he made his way over to stand behind me once again. We both stood there, and I slowly stopped the brushing motions, eyes locked through the mirror. I stood my ground, and so did he. I felt his large hands gently grab my hips, moving them under my shirt, his fingers just barely grazing the soft flesh. He moved his head down until it was barely resting on my chin. I could feel his hot breath on my neck, as his eyes bored into my fucking soul it seemed. He turned his head closer to my face and I could see how close his mouth was to my ear. It felt like my stomach lunged up into my throat, and my heart started to race. I tried my best to keep my calm. I was sure, so sure that he was about to press a kiss to my neck and I shivered. It took me a couple of seconds to process his next words.

"Maybe later." he spoke soft, in a deep voice that I practically felt go through me. His accent rang through my ears, and my mouth nearly dropped to the floor.

Suddenly his hands were no longer on my hips, and I grew cold. Looking to his presence in the doorway, he had a shit eating smirk on his lips, and with a wink he was out the door.

"I'll see you in a bit, Angel." 

I was going to fucking kill him. He won this time. 

I was in desperate need of a shower now.

Stripping myself of my clothes, I slipped in the steaming flow of water. It felt nice, Martin never leaving my mind. I sighed, so very turned on by the thought of that man. I thought about the feeling of his thick, hard length pressed up against me and what it would feel like inside me. He definitely felt very big, especially compared to me. I thought of his hands, wandering my body, how they would feel squeezing my breasts, pinching my nipples. Would he like my piercings? Was he into that stuff? He didn't seem like the type, but then again, what did I know. I let my hands wander to my lower region, wishing it was his hands instead. I thought of his mouth. His fucking mouth. What would those beautiful lips feel like? I'm sure he'd be good, so good. 

Fuck. All this teasing was really getting to me. I knew I needed get myself out of the shower, I imagined it was getting close to when we'd have to leave. 

I quickly washed my hair and body, turning the tap off. Getting ready, I didn't blow dry my hair, and just threw on the first t-shirt in my bag. A dusty rose colored long sleeve, and black jeans. Just as I was packing my beauty supplies, Niels began knocking absurdly hard on the door, stating it was time to leave. I rolled my eyes, shouted a 'one fucking second', and slid on my jean jacket. The poor people in the rooms around us. He didn't stop knocking, obviously just being an annoying fucker at eight in the morning. 

Grabbing my bags I whipped open the door, idiot almost punched me in the face. I glared at him, and he grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry?" I nodded. 

"Mhm." We made our way to the elevator, Arvid waiting there patiently. Niels swung an arm around my shoulders. 

"One show left, Ange." He fake cried into my shoulders.

"Thank fuck." I mumbled, winking at Arvid, a smile finding its way to his face. Those Persner's were a couple of handsome men, that's for sure. 

Niels' mouth gaped open, still taking my bags from me nonetheless.

"Rude!" I chuckled. It was too early for his antics. 

I didn't want to think about tonight being the last night I could spend with Martin. And the other guys, of course, but mostly Martin... I didn't want to think how within two days I'd be back home, alone once again. Not that I minded that, but the feeling was still a bit new.

I was thankful for my job, but especially so during the time of my separation. I was out of the country, and he couldn't do anything to manipulate me into staying with him any longer. I was also thankful for Tobias. He had spent so many nights just letting me vent, cry, then we'd fuck and I'd feel so much better. Order food, fall asleep together... sometimes we'd do it again the next night, other nights I just needed my space. 

I still don't know if any other the other band members knew of T and I. I think they had their suspicions, but no one every brought anything up. 

  
Lost in thought, I hadn't realized we made it out to the van, Niels waving a hand in front of my face. Shaking, my head, he laughed.

"You're doing it again, weirdo." I stuck my tongue out at him, but decided to mess around a bit.

"Sorry, I was just having my morning talk with that voice inside my head." I spoke in a serious voice. He squinted his eyes.

"Oh yeah?" I nodded. "And whats the topic of conversation today?" He threw my suitcases in the back of the van, and slid the door closed.

"Just the usual. Me trying to convince her that, no, Niels is worth keeping alive. For now, at least." The grin wiped off his face, and he shot me a look, rolling his eyes. The guys chuckled. 

"Better watch it Niels," Martin began, slapping a hand on his friends back. "I'm sure that decision could change in a heartbeat." We all laughed. 

Martin opened the door for me, helping me inside the van. It got us a very unnecessary smirk from Niels, though, but it was kind. 

The drive to Vosselaar wasn't long at all, in fact, it was the shortest ride to date, only taking us a little under 2 hours to get to our hotel. 

"So why the fuck did we need to leave so early for?" I could've slept in? Longer, next to Martin? I was shooting daggers at Niels. 

His head whipped to Martin. 

"You mean you didn't even tell her?" He gave his friend an incredulous look. My brows shot up. 

"Tell me what?" Arvid and Pär shook their heads, the latter slightly groaning. 

"We're all doing a little trip today." He spoke from his position in the front seat, contorting his body slightly to face me. He was wearing his glasses more often lately. I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. Arvid turned to me and spoke for him.

"He wants to go to the National Playing Card Museum." I laughed.

"That's where you want to go, Niels? Really?"

"Hey! You'll see just how cool it is when you get there. Don't worry!" He tried to convince me. I laughed again. Well, it was my last day with the guys so I was going to enjoy it no matter what we did.

"Okay, Niels." Martin chuckled. 

Our hotel was just a Best Western, but I did have a lovely room, with a Jacuzzi tub. I would definitely be using that at some point. Setting my suitcases down, we planned on grabbing lunch on the way, but nowhere fancy. Martin came knocking on the door, as we were both a floor up from the rest of them. We walked together to the elevator, mostly in silence until he spoke up.

"Are you happy to be heading back home tomorrow?" I almost cringed. Not that I wasn't happy to be home, I would be able to see my cat and friends, but I guess I just felt a sense of dread. I had grown accustomed to their antics and humor, and had become close to them like I had not done with any other band.

Tobias was different. The tour was longer, and our intentions were much more clear. And we did keep in touch for the most part. It wasn't so bad, as I had the following year to look forward to working with them as well. 

Magna was different. They didn't have as much fame as Ghost, money was tighter and who knew when the next tour for them would be. It could be a year, or another five years. Who knew where any of us would be, it was a long time. I nodded my head anyway.

"Yeah, I am. I do miss my cat and friends, but I've been gone longer. So it's not so bad." I stated. Why did this lift seem so long?

"Will we...Will we keep in touch?" He sounded nervous to ask. I stayed quiet, and thought for a moment.

I really wanted to, but a part of me thought against it, as well. Would it only hurt us more in the long run? I was certain I had feelings for him that weren't just sexual, but I didn't know about his feelings towards me. Yeah, he said he liked me when we had that much needed discussion, but that could mean lots of things. I didn't want either of us hurt. We had both been through enough.

I didn't speak my concerns, afraid of putting a damper on the moment. The elevator dinged and right as I was about to say something Niels waved us over. He looked like a kid on Christmas to go to this museum, and it made me happy that he was happy. Martin kept his eyes to the ground for a while, and I felt bad for not answering his question. I walked beside him, slowly hooking my arm around his, and gently squeezed his bicep with my hand. His eyes met mine and he smiled, somewhat sadly, but it was a something at least.

I knew how he felt, but I didn't want what was one of our last days together to be sad. 

Getting in the van, driving around to see the places we could grab some breakfast. We decided on a place called the New Challenge, and had an amazing breakfast. The service was wonderful, the coffee was great too. It was a very homey place, and our seats had cute sunflowers on them. I loved it. 

The boys were talking lightly over breakfast about a new album, when Niels piped a question for me.

"Are you excited to go home to Tom?" Taking a huge bite of his waffle. I ginned, and nodded.

"Yes, I miss him. I always do when I'm gone." I ate my bacon. The guys looked confused, and I quickly remembered that they probably didn't know I had a cat, and were most likely assuming Tom was an actual person. I chuckled.

"My cat, guys." Sounds of recognition passed threw the table. Silly boys.

"Will you accompany us on the next tour as well?" Arvid asked this time. 

"I would love to. Although, that would entirely depend on when the time comes, and if I have something else lined up of course. The more notice, the better." I smiled to him. 

"Any interesting artists you have already made plans with?" Par spoke. I nodded.

"Yes. Children of Bodom is next on the list, then Pearl Jam after that. Khemmis and Bell Witch have both been in contact with me and I would love to do something with them." I didn't mention Ghost, unsure if Martin really wanted to talk about anything to do with Tobias right now. That is until he said it for me. 

"Ghost." He took a sip of his coffee, breakfast already finished.

Their brows raised at that word, Niels gave him an odd look, and I was quick to pipe up before anyone could say anything else. 

"I toured with them for the ending of their Prequelle tour." I don't know how they didn't know that, there was pictures all over my Instagram. I knew Niels followed me, and I shouldn't have just assumed that the others did. Arvid and Pär looked to Martin and Niels, wondering why they weren't aware of that, or why nobody mentioned anything.

"Oh, that wasn't very long ago either! Three, or four months?" Arvid was finishing up his last bit of food. I nodded. 

"How is Tobias? It's been a while since I've seen him, I haven't kept up with Ghost much." Pär asked, and I took a sip of my coffee. I really didn't want to talk about T right now, and all eyes were on me except Martin, but nobody really took note of that. 

"He's great." I smiled, and they looked like they were waiting for me to evolve. I cleared my throat, "He's got the rest of the year off. Mostly to record a new album, spend some time with the kids. Then wants to tour again later next year." They nodded, and it seemed it was then I seen Niels looking at Martin. I felt like he definitely knew something was up but didn't question it in front of everyone. Hopefully he thought that it was just Martin still a little sensitive over the Ghost topic. 

"I was shocked to hear about him and his wife. Too bad." Niels spoke, the men nodding. All except Martin who kept his eyes on his coffee cup. I felt a twinge of guilt, I really didn't mean to bring up anything relating to that subject. 

Thankfully the waitress came with our bills and I put a hand on Martin's knee, giving it a light squeeze. He smiled small, stealing my bill from my hands. I gasped.

"Hey, give me that back!" I tried reaching over but his arms were just way too long. The guys chuckled, not helping me out at all. I huffed.

"Fuck I hate being short, I hate it so much." I crossed my arms, and they just laughed even more. 

"Don't worry, little one, we've got you." Martin patted my head, and I swatted his hand away. Fucker.

It wasn't long before we hit the road again, only a ten minute drive to the museum. We started off by watching a short film about printing techniques, then we got to watch exactly how the printing process is done, even being able to set the machine in motion. Niels looked so into it he probably didn't hear me making fun of him the whole time. The other's surely did, looking more entertained from that than the actual museum, and that was good enough for me. There was an exposition about the history of every single playing card, as well as different cards from all around the world. Even learned about the numbers on the cards and all. It was a pretty cool and interactive experience in all honesty. Regardless, I was happy to just spend this last little bit of time with them. 

We were there a good three hours, and it was now about three in the afternoon. Vosselaar wasn't that big of a city, really only known for Biebob, where they were set to play later this evening. With not much else to do I just decided to head to the venue with them and help set up. Not really knowing how everything was placed and plugged in and connected, it was actually a nice learning experience.

I mostly stuck with Martin, and I was beginning to feel pretty hungry again, only having eaten breakfast earlier that morning. It was then that I heard Niels complain he was hungry. 

"Me too, did you guys want pizza or something? Call ahead and order and I can pick it up?" I suggested. They all agreed and decided on a place. 

I was helping Martin set up his pedal board, and he was explaining of the different sounds that come from the different distortion pedals when Niels came walking over. 

"You sure you're good to go, Ange? How about one of us come with you, I'm sure Martin can take a few minutes of his time." I rose a brow. 

"I can go al-" Martin stood.

"I'll come with you." Not that I didn't want him to, but Niels made it sound...fishy. I narrowed my eyes at him, but nodded anyway. 

"Okay." We each headed towards backstage to grab our jackets and headed out the back door. It was raining, so Martin motioned for me to wait by the door while he got the van. Gentleman, I tell you. 

I asked him once again about his sound pedals, as I always had an interest in that sort of thing. I knew Niels was very good at it, he recorded and mixed every single one of his own solo albums and they were very good. He also mixed a lot for Ghost, and other notorious Swedish bands. 

Once we got to the restaurant he told me I could just wait in the car. It didn't take him long and I spent the time posting another photo on Instagram of last nights show, captioning that tonight was the last one for the tour. Damn, even in writing it was sad. It was a full body photo of Martin, looking very concentrated on his guitar, blue lights in the background with the giant Magna Carta Cartel logo. It looked really cool, and it was one I was very proud of. Immediately it started to get likes, mostly from Ghost fans saying something about Omega. 

I sighed. It must be hard for Martin to only hear about Ghost when he was really giving Magna all he has. I scrolled through the comments more, seeing emojis, and my dad's comment about how great of a photo it was. He always did that on my posts, he was extremely proud of me and I was thankful for his continuing support. I got a few notifications of new followers, again most just Ghost fans, but two of them stood out to me. One was Martin_Persner, so I decided to click on his account. Not much was posted, mostly just his guitars and movie stuff, a couple of cute selfies. The other one was indio_marcato, and I wouldn't have bothered to look if the photo wasn't of Martin's eye. I recognized the brow, bio stating it was his private account, so I hit request and it was confirmed seconds later. I smiled, not many posts again, and they were all mainly of his friends and family. So many people loved him.

Martin got back in the van some while later and I took the food from him, the smell making my mouth water. It's been a while since I had a good pizza. We were making our way back, when he brought up the dreaded subject once again. 

"So...I take it that after all this, I might not see you again." He kept his eyes on the road and so did I. I really didn't want it to be that way, but I didn't know what else could be done. We each had our careers, with thousands and thousands of miles between us. It just seemed impossible, like the odds were stacked against us. It really did make me sad. I sighed.

"I...I don't know, Martin. I don't think either of us knows what the future holds." I stated. I didn't think having this conversation right now was a good idea either. The rain seemed to become heavier, and I was looking out onto the wet streets of Vosselaar. He stayed quiet for a moment.

"I think that, well, we are the in control of our own future. If you really think its best we don't, I will accept that but I keep getting this feeling that...it's not what you want. Am I wrong?" Out of the corner of my eye, I seen his leave the road for a split second to look over to me, before turning back once more. He wasn't wrong, that's for sure. 

"Of course not, its just," I paused for a moment, trying to figure out the right words to say. He was patient. "It's all very new to me, still. I've never-I haven't had feelings for anyone in a very long time, I was with someone for eight year... and I guess I'm just worried that being so far away will be too much for me." I tried my best to explain my feelings, but that wasn't something I did often, so it probably didn't come out the way I wanted it to. He was quiet again, eyes on the road. 

"I understand."

The rest of the ride was quiet. I felt bad, I really did. I didn't want to hurt him, and I didn't want to be hurt myself. But especially given the circumstances, it just wasn't the best idea. Right place, wrong time. 

Upon returning to the venue we all ate our pizza, and had some beers. The place was filling up now, and the guys were just about ready to head on stage. Martin was a little off, but after a few beers he seemed to loosen up a little. I'm happy he did, it was the show to wrap up an amazing tour for the band and he deserved to be happy. They played wonderfully, and the crowd just loved them. I got my newest favorite shot of Niels today, and some great shots of Arvid rocking out behind his drums. The lighting was great, and they gave it their all, just like they do every show. 

Later on, we decided to have some drinks at a bar called Kaffee Beatnik. It was Pär's suggestion and I was totally on board after he said there was Foosball and pool tables.

Safe to say our last night together was well spent. I didn't want to get too drunk, I wanted to remember tonight. I kicked everyone's asses in both of the games, much to Niels' dismay.

"There's no way! I've owned a Foosball table my whole fucken life, how is she winning?" Niels spoke frantically to Arvid who couldn't stop laughing.

"I've got two brothers, grew up on this competitive shit. Bring it on, man." I winked. He huffed, walking to grab another drink. 

We were there for hours, all enjoying our evening. We didn't need to be anywhere soon the next day. My flight would be leaving Brussels airport around three in the afternoon, and our hotel was only an hour away. Their flight back to Sweden didn't leave until the next morning, so they were set to drive me. I sat there observing the brotherly interaction between Niels and Arvid, sipping my beer. It was Pär's turn in pool, and a concentrated look on his face as he was about to make his move. I smiled.

"Having fun?" A hand placed itself gently on my back, I looked into Martin's blue eyes. I nodded.

"Are you?" He nodded as well. We both sat there for a while, snickering at Arvid who was also better at pool than Niels. He looked like he was about to lose his mind now. Martin and I laughed. 

It wasn't long after that we decided to retreat to our rooms for the evening, as it was closing in on two in the morning. Thankfully, it wasn't raining anymore, and we all made it to the hotel completely dry. I bid my farewell to the boys, as Martin and I waited for the elevator to close once more. I wasn't drunk, but I was feeling very content that's for sure. Lazy smile on my face I turned to observe Martin. 

How did he always look so good? My eyes trailed him, his jean jacket fit around his broad shoulders, the rings around his thick fingers, those jeans...I loved absolutely everything about his figure. 

"What are you smiling about?" He poked my side and I giggled.

"You. Just you. You're handsome." His face flushed slightly.

"You think so?" Oh, yes I did. I nodded my head vigorously.

"Very much." He was quick to laugh. 

The elevator dinged, and we both made way to our rooms. We walked closely side by side, and I thought once again of how sad I would be tomorrow.

"You know, I," I paused. I knew what I wanted to say, but struggled to find the right way to say it. "I wish things were different." I started, wondering if I even had anything else to say. I felt like I had so much, but nothing at all at the same time.

"Me too." We reached his room, mine was a few doors down. We both stood there for a moment, and I wanted to invite him back to my room, but thought against it. 

"Will you come in? I think-" he looked down to the ground for a few moments, before his eyes met mine again. "I think we should talk more about this. Maybe there's...Maybe there's something we can do. I don't want to say goodbye to you, Angel." 

I looked up at him sadly, but nodded my head. 

"Of course. I don't want to say goodbye either but...I'm not quite sure what else there is to do, Martin." He opened the door to his room, leading me inside, brows furrowed. 

"I don't know, something just doesn't feel right about it." He was struggling. I sighed.

Looking around his room, it was very similar to mine. I took a seat on his bed, and he soon followed suit, sitting closely next to me. He spoke again.

"Can I...Can I ask about your fiancee? I don't want to upset you...I'm just, curious I guess." I stiffened. I didn't think I'd ever have to talk to him about this, he never asked. I didn't think he would ever ask. I thought about him and his love life, how he told me about it when the last thing he probably wanted to do was talk about it. I guess he deserved to know about mine. My eyes stayed glued to the floor, as I fiddle my fingers.

"We were high school sweethearts." I began, remembering fondly of when I met John. We were both seniors, who met at a football game against each others' schools. Even then, we were so different. I only went cause my friends practically forced me to attend, and he was on the other schools league. 

"Started dating in our senior year, and after that he attended college, while I was working. I didn't want to go to college, it just wasn't my thing. He ended up dropping out after a year, starting a new job. He was making good money, better than I was." I really wished I had a cigarette. I looked down to my feet.

"We were very different people. Always, since the start and I wish I could say I wasn't stupid, and I wasn't naive. But I was. I thought he was the most perfect boyfriend. The things he would say, and do. Part of me thought it was too good to be true. And it was. At first, it was little things I would pick up on. White lies, some things just didn't seem right to me. He would get really aggressive and defensive about certain things, it got to the point where I was afraid to even ask him to go and do things with me." I furrowed my brows, eyes still locked towards the ground. 

"I didn't understand how someone could go from being so thoughtful and caring and loving to...a _monster_." I didn't like thinking back on such negative times. I really wished I had gotten drunk now. 

"When he proposed to me, things were already falling apart. It had been four years, we were living together. I wasn't happy, but I loved him so much, I didn't want to see him with someone else." He was looking at me now, but I still did not look his way.

"Looking back on it now, that was his manipulation at best. You know, he would talk horrible things about my friends and family, then they would express to me their concerns over him to me. He made them out to seem like bad friends for saying such things about my fiancee... He was very good at that, and I started to believe him. I cut so many people from my life, Martin, and I was such an idiot for doing so. It's exactly what he wanted." He placed a hand on my leg, and my eyes met the ring on his finger. 

"I...he would lie to me about absolutely everything. From going to work, to what he did with our income, to what he was eating for dinner. And I'm not saying that as a joke either." He gave me a look, and spoke for the first time.

" _About what he had for dinner?_ " He spoke incredulously. I nodded.

"Yup. Whats the point, right? He would lie, then twist in on me saying it was my fault, that he had to lie, that I would have gotten upset with him. It was getting to the point where I was doing things and thinking things that were absolutely crazy. I had completely lost touch with myself, and everything I ever loved." He squeezed my leg gently. I bit my lip.

"I ended up getting a call from one of my old friends. He was in a local hardcore band, and his photographer was sick. He couldn't make the show. He remembered that I knew my way around a camera and asked if I would fill in for two gigs they had planned. I knew I needed to get out of the house, and away from John so I did it. Without asking, and he was so upset with me. He called so many times, I lost count. Left awful voicemails, I just turned my phone off after a while." His large thumb began to slowly rub circles on my thigh. It was comforting. 

"That's how I got into doing band photography. I got good, then people started to get in touch. He didn't like that, and when I was touring with In Flames I got one of the worst calls. He was yelling so loud that Niels overheard every awful thing he said to me. We ended getting drunk and he let me vent to him that night. But I still didn't leave himn, not until over two years later, when I was touring with Ghost." He still sat quiet, stiffening slightly but I was quick to continue.

"It had nothing to do with Tobias. I just felt...good. It was the longest I'd been away from home on a tour, and I just thought 'why am I putting myself through such torment and misery?' I think T nearly had a heart attack when he watched me shoot the ring in a random garbage can in the streets of New York." That was the first night we had sex, but I didn't say that out loud. I didn't notice the tear that had gathered in my eyes until I felt one slip. I wiped it quickly with my sleeve. I wasn't going to let another one fall, not over him.

"I did some things, that I'm not proud of. He drove me crazy, literally, crazy. He was a master manipulator, a compulsive liar and a narcissist. I fear for the next woman he preys on. I really do." We sat like that for a little while, my head finding its way to rest gently on his upper arm. 

"You are a very strong woman, I hope you know that." He broke the silence. I smiled, but stayed quiet. 

"Can I make a suggestion?" He spoke once again, and I lifted my head to meet his eyes. His hand still rested on my leg, thumb still drawing soft circles. I nodded.

"We text, call when we can. Get to know each other more, see how we feel. We don't get our hopes up for anything. If it's meant to be it will be. If not, then at least we can say we've become good friends." I pondered his suggestion. 

"Okay, I think that could be okay." I paused for another moment. "Can we...be honest with one another? If you meet someone, you'll tell me right?" He nodded.

"Of course. I hope you'll do the same." 

"Okay." It was quiet again. "I should probably head out now, it's getting late. I'm pretty tired." I moved to get up, but his hand grabbed mine. I could've laughed, it was almost like the night we kissed, but roles reversed. I turned to look at him, still sitting on the bed. We weren't exactly eye level, like I said hotel beds are always stupid high up, but we almost were.

"Would you stay...?" I rubbed my thumb gently over his soft hand. I smiled.

"Would you like me to?" He nodded. I smiled, he knew without words that I wanted to stay. 

We fell asleep that night tangled in one another arms, but both minds plagued by what the future was to bring. 

  
  


  
The next morning, I was gently woken by Martin's soft voice, and a hand rubbing gently up and down my arm.

"I brought you breakfast, love." It was then I smelt the wonderful aroma of bacon and maple syrup. Adjusting my sleepy eyes to the bright light, Martin sat on the edge of the bed, two plates of breakfast in his hands. A smile made its way to my face quickly very quickly, and I sat up, stomach rumbling. He laughed.

"I've never had breakfast in bed before." I spoke honestly. His eyes widening, he gasped.

"Unacceptable. Although, I am happy to be the first man to introduce you to the wonders of breakfast in bed." He grinned. I giggled.

He gently placed the plate of food on my lap, handing me a plastic fork and knife. He scooted himself next to me, and we both ate our breakfast quietly, enjoying each other's company. I glanced at the clock noticing it was half past ten. I would need to get ready soon, make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. I liked being at the airport early enough for my flights, I always stressed about missing them and it made me quite anxious sometimes. I wasn't looking forward to the fourteen hour flight, especially when my thoughts would probably mostly be of Martin.

I was going to miss him. 

"Thanks for breakfast. Its sweet of you." I smiled sadly to him. He returned it, emotions reciprocated. We finished our plates, and he grabbed mine getting up off the bed to throw the plates in the trash. Not moving from my spot, I stretched my arms and let out a yawn. I felt him return to his original spot, and our eyes met. No words were spoken, but I guess they didn't need to be.

Man, this _hurt._

I wanted to kiss him so badly, it was almost unbearable. I suddenly felt a wave of emotion crash over me, and I thought I was going to cry for a second. I scooted closer to him, my arms wrapping around his neck, tightly, and he wasted no time in reciprocating the actions around with his his thick arms around my petite waist. We stayed that way for a while, our heartbeats in sync. Our breaths slow, and content. Our bodies were pressed tightly against one another, and he slowly layed himself down on his back, placing me gently by his side. My arms barely moved from there sport, and my face was in the crook of his neck.

He smelt delightful. I kissed his neck lightly, holding myself back. One hand slowly and softly made its way up and down my arm, the other drawing circles around my side. We stayed like that for some time, when we were interrupted by a knock on the door, eliciting a groan from the both of us. We did not move, hoping that whoever it was would just go away, but to no avail.

"I know you guys are in there, quit fucking and open up!" It was Niels, and any other time I'd have smacked him but I just laughed. I would miss him too. I eyed Martin to see he was already looking at me. I reluctantly untangled myself from him, both of us getting up to get the door. Opening the door, Niels was still in pajamas. 

"Well hello sunshine!" Niels made his way inside the room, looking around for a moment. 

"Morning Niels. I gotta head to my room, get ready, make sure I've got all my shit. I'll see you guys soon." I smiled. They both nodded, Martin placed a hand on my back.

"I'll come get you around twelve thirty? Is that okay, or would you prefer sooner?" He gazed lovingly down at me.

"Twelve thirty is perfect. Thanks, M." He nodded. 

I showered, and got myself ready for the long ass flight. Wanting to be comfy yet cute, I decided on a pair of black leggings with a long sleeve, black flowy v-neck. I brushed my hair, styling my bangs. I put on some light makeup, then started packing my things away. Not noticing the time, Martin came to the door. He carried my things for me, and we made our way out to the van. The guys stood ther already, waiting patiently for our arrival. I was greeted warmly while Martin was placing my things in the vehicle. I was brought in to a tight hug from Niels. 

"We're gonna miss you, Ange" He kissed my cheek letting go. I giggled.

"Yeah, I might miss you too asshole." I grinned. He huffed, crossing his arms.

"Hah, never mind. Get back to Canada." He joked, with a serious face. The guys chuckling at our antics. 

"Speak for yourself." Arvid chided at his band mate, pulling me in for a friendly hug as well. I was starting to get confused. Couldn't this wait till we got to the airport? I hugged back, kissing his cheek.

"Martin wants to drive you himself. Alone, so we're stuck here." Niels explained, obviously seeing the look on my face now. Surprised, I nodded slowly. 

"It was nice to get to know you love." It was Pär's turn now, and I nodded in agreement, arms wrapping around his neck. He was a slim guy.   
  
"Hopefully when the time comes you are able to accompany us again. Niels picked a wonderful photographer." He complimented. They were all so sweet. 

"Thank you. I'm glad I was able to make you guys happy, and I'm extremely proud to have been part of this tour. You all did amazingly, and I wish you luck with your next album." I placed a friendly hand on Niels' arm.

We bid our farewells, and then we were on our way to the airport. The ride there was not spent in silence, it was spent laughing about everything and anything. We hit up a Starbucks drive thru on the way, grabbing coffee and a cake pop for each of us. It was cute watching him try to eat the dessert while driving, and trying not to make a mess. It was sunny, and we both wore our sunglasses. His hand was rested on thigh for most of the ride. 

It was a large enough airport, and middle of the afternoon so there was enough people. He insisted on carrying my bags all the way, and waiting with me until I boarded. He didn't want me to be alone, and I was thankful for that. We played games against each other on our phones as we waited, both of us trying not to think that within the next hour I would be on a plain, not knowing when we would see each other next. If we ever would see each other again.

The goodbye's were hard. My arms wrapped around him, he squeezed, both of us not wanting to let go. But we had to, hearing the familiar voice on the speaker. I grabbed my bags, as we smiled sadly to each other.

"I really do hope to hear from you, Angel." I loved the way he said my name. 

"The same goes to you. Take care of yourself, okay?" I took his hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

"Text me when you land? So I know you got home safe?" His eyes were hopeful. I nodded.

"Of course." He leaned in, closing the gap once again and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead, hands making its way to the back of my head. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment as much as I could. I placed my hands on his forearms. He pulled away as we shared one last longing look, until I was off to board my plane. 

I sighed as I took my seat, pulling my phone out of my pocket to make sure it was on airplane. Shoving my headphones in my ears, I looked out the window. I loved window seats, and it was the only thing that would make it bearable. I thought back on the tour once again, the lovely places I'd been, the wonderful times I spent with amazing people. I was grateful for the opportunity I was given, and even if this did hurt an awful lot right now, I wouldn't change absolutely anything.

I fell asleep, thinking of him. 

In the coming months, I thought a lot about the future of my career, my love life, my friends and family. Where I would be in the next few years, everything so uncertain. My contact with Martin started out strong, but as the months went by the texts and calls and FaceTime's grew more and more scarce, until they were no more. By the end of that year, his number was just deleted from my phone. To say I was hurting was an understatement. 

Things happen a certain way for a reason, and I can honestly say that what the future held for me, I was not prepared for. 


End file.
